


All the While

by itsmorgan (orphan_account)



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Absent Parents, Daddy!Peeta, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Parent-Child Relationship, single parent peeta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-02
Updated: 2015-01-25
Packaged: 2018-02-07 04:24:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1885050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/itsmorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nearly fourteen years after the death of Katniss' father, she returns to her hometown of District 12 and almost nothing is different. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alternating between updating this story and Into the Wild cause it's summer and I can.

I hadn’t been back to the small coal mining town outside of the capitol in almost fourteen years. But now that I’m here, it feels like I’ve entered some sort of time machine. Nothing has changed. The people and the buildings and the fine layer of coal dust that seems to cling onto everything have all but been preserved. Sure the people have gotten older, but it’s not like they’ve changed. Greasy Sae is still serving up unusual combinations at The Hob, Deputy Cray is still luring just legal girls into his bed with the promise of erasing their track records, The Goat Man still has a heard of goats that he herds on the outskirts of the Seam.

And all of these people knew the minute that I crossed the towns limits because they have nothing better to do than create elaborate gossip. They wave at me as I pass by them in the U-Haul I’m driving as if I’d only been away from a weekend. And when I get to my new home; the small apartment complex that is closer to the forest than town, I’m not too surprised that an old classmate is there to greet me with my keys.

“Katniss!” says an older version of the girl I spent my lunches with. She really hasn’t changed much, other than gaining about a foot or so in height and developing womanly curves that I still lack.

“Madge,” I try to return her cheeriness, though I’m not very good at it. “Do you work here?”

“Oh no, but my dad is still the mayor and when he heard that you were moving back, I thought that I’d personally welcome you back into the community.”

“Wow, 12 really hasn’t changed a bit,” I murmur more to myself than to Madge.

“I suppose. It’s a good thing though, right? You can practically start right where you left off.”

That’s the problem; I don’t want to start right where I left off. I give Madge a smile anyways and take the keys Madge has holding out.

“So, if you’re up for it, I thought that we could get some people together and go out of a drink tonight. To celebrate your arrival, you know?”

I hate to turn Madge down, especially with her lake-blue eyes shining with hope. “Can I get a rain check for this weekend? I really just want to move all my stuff in then go to bed, moving is really tiring,” I explain.

“Oh of course! I should have known. Yeah, we can totally have a rain check for this weekend, Saturday sound okay?”

“Saturday sounds perfect.”

Madge pulls away in her black sedan just as Gale arrives driving my trusty Jeep followed by his younger brother and Prim in tow, driving his large pick-up truck. Gale is the only person I stayed in contact after my mom, sister, and I moved. Our dads were best friends until the accident and even though Gale’s two years older than me, we grew up together.

“Welcome back, Catnip,” Gale says into my ear as he pulls me into a tight and familiar hug.

“Hey Gale,” I say back to him. “Hey Rory, I can’t believe how big you’ve grown.”

Rory is only a few months older than my sister, Prim, and when I last saw him he was shorter than her, but now he’s towering over her by a foot. “Yeah, I’m still growing too. Probably be taller than Gale. I’m already better looking than him.” He gives me a goofy grin just Gale elbows his side.

The four of us make trips back and forth and up and down the steps, with heavy boxes in our hands until the U-Haul truck is vacant as well as my car and the bed of Gale’s truck. I didn’t have much. A full sized bed, a large dresser that still has some clothing in it, a couch and a love seat, a coffee table with mismatched end tables, an ancient television, as well as a few pots and pans that I will probably never use. It’s dark by the time we’re all done though, and Gale has gone and come back with Chinese food and drinks.

“Excited to start your new job?” Rory asks after swallowing a mouthful of general Tso chicken.

“Excited and nervous,” I answer honestly. “I don’t want to screw up.”

“Oh come on,” Gale interjects. “You were made for this job. You practically grew up in the woods right?”

Gale was right. Our dads used to take the two of us out hiking and hunting almost every weekend. It’s where I developed a love for nature. And this job is perfect for me. Though I didn’t go to college, Gale stuck his neck out for me to get this wildlife technician job. That’s what I’m most afraid of, not doing well and Gale paying the price for my mistakes.  

Gale and Rory leave sometime around midnight and Prim and I crawl into the same bed not long after locking the front door. We face each other, not talking at first, just saying what we need to say through subtle facial movements that only siblings as close as us can pick up on.

Eventually Prim says, “I’m going to miss seeing you every day.”

“I’m going to miss you too, but you’re going to have a blast in college. You’ll meet so many new people and Rory will be there, so you won’t be alone. Before you know it you won’t be missing your overprotective sister at all.”

Prim blushes at the mention of Rory. I saw what was going on tonight. The way she seemed to gravitate towards the younger Hawthorne boy and hanging on every word he said. Most of me wanted to lock Prim away forever, so that no boy can pursue my sweet innocent sister, but the smaller part, and the side of me that ends up winning, is happy that she’s taking an interest in Rory because he’s a good kid and I can tell that the feeling is mutual.

“I highly doubt that, but I promise to call anytime that I start to forget what you sound like,” Prim smiles a pearly white smile.

“And I promise to call whenever I’m feeling particularly motherly and feel the need to make sure you’re doing all of your homework.”

Prim giggles. “Deal.”

XxX

Rory came back Friday morning to pick Prim up and take her back into the city where her, our mom and uncle still live. It takes all day, without stopping to finally get the apartment into somewhat of a livable order. The living room and kitchen are completely put away and I’ve gotten my clothes sorted into different baskets. And by the time I’m exhausted, it’s pushing ten at night. My stomach growls obnoxiously and I’ve realized that I haven’t eaten anything since the Chinese food last night and I’m really regretting not order extra for leftovers.

I debate whether or not to just go to bed on an empty stomach or to go the grocery store now so I don’t have to do it in the morning when I’m even hungrier. The first option wins as soon as my stomach makes another awful noise.

Still in a tattered tank top, sports bra, and shorts that I normally sleep in, I make my way up and down the abandoned aisles of the only supermarket in town. It’s closing in thirty minutes, the manager has already told me twice, but I still haven’t bothered to head for the check out.

I’m trying to decide if I want bananas or if it’s just a lack of food that makes them seem delicious when I hear my name being called. I look up and at the end of the row I see another familiar face. 

“It’s me, Peeta Mellark,” the man says as he approaches me, but I already knew that. We may not have known each other when I lived here before but everyone knows the youngest baker boy; it’s impossible not to.

“Yeah, I remember,” I say setting the bananas down.

“Oh cool. Madge told me that you were moved back here.”

“Yeah, she welcomed me back into the community yesterday.”

“Cool,” Peeta nods.

The manager appears again, telling us that we only have five minutes until we had to leave. Unlike the rest of the community, he didn’t seem to care that the eldest Everdeen daughter had made a return back to District 12.

“Dinner?” Peeta points at my basket that is full of frozen dinners, condensed soups, and grapes.

“You can never go wrong with Lean Cuisine,” I joke.

“There are so many ways you can go wrong with Lean Cuisine. Let me make you a welcome home dinner, it would be a crime to let you eat that tonight.”

I look down at my basket, frozen burritos that are packed with sodium isn’t as appetizing as what the baker’s son could probably whip up. 

“I was in the mood for some pasta,” Peeta continues to persuade me. “We can even go back to your place. Your first official meal in your own home, cooked by yours truly.”

“Technically Chinese take-out was my first meal,” I tell him.

“You wound me, seriously.”

I laugh. “Fine, but I have absolutely nothing food wise yet.”

“Not a problem,” Peeta points to his own basket which is filled with everything you need to make pasta.

Peeta follows behind me in his car as we travel back into the Seam. And when I show him into my apartment, I half expect Peeta to crinkle his nose at the smallness, and lack of luster that the town apartments have, but he doesn’t. Peeta simply smiles at me then moves towards the kitchen to beginning making pasta.

“Sorry that my stuff isn’t all the put away yet,” I say as I scramble to shove boxes into my room.

“I invited myself over; there is no need to apologize.”

I offer Peeta to help but he declines but does take me up on asking if he’d like a beer. I watch as Peeta stirs the creamy white sauce, adding in cheeses and spices until it’s where he wants it, adding the cooked pasta to it and stirring some more. Peeta even plates it for me on one of my mismatched plates that I’ve bought over time.

“I would have made homemade bread but I didn’t have time, so you’ll have to settle for what the bakery had leftover,” Peeta sets everything in front of me on the coffee table.

I don’t even wait for the pasta to cool down before I shove a large forkful into my mouth, having no regrets that I’m burning my tongue because it’s that good.

“This is by far the best thing I’ve ever tasted,” I tell him in between bites of bread and alfredo.

Peeta and I talk and eat until around one when Peeta insists on helping me clean before leaving. I don’t climb into bed until way after two though, after finally finding my phone that I lost in the pile of boxes during the move and returned a few texts. One of them was even from Madge, telling me that she and a group of people would be at The Hob and everyone is excited to see me. I let out a large groan but decide that it might not be so bad, especially if Peeta showed up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, real life certainly got into the way and all of the sudden it's the middle of July and summer is coming to a close end. But here is the next chapter that I basically threw together because I'm still super duper busy so don't kill me if it sucks.

Saturday rears its ugly head in full force. Not only has Madge called to confirm our ‘welcoming party’ but has texted me throughout the day with exciting little news about who has all confirmed. Peeta’s name isn’t on the ever growing list of people that are expecting my arrival at The Hob at half past seven. The one good thing about this is that Gale offered to come and act as my buffer. Madge was all but elated when I told her about Gale coming along with me and apologized profusely when she didn’t think to invite him herself.

Gale is stretched out across my bed, tossing a stress ball into the air and catching it before it has the chance to fall onto this face. He’s been in that position ever since he arrived to pick me up, nearly twenty minutes ago. But of course I’m not ready, I’m still sitting on the floor raiding through baskets and bags and piles of clothes in nothing but my underwear.

“You should just wear that,” Gale suggests with a snicker.

“Shut up, it’s not my fault that I want to look good tonight. If Madge hadn’t put so much damn pressure on this, I’d just wear jeans and a tee shirt, but I can’t do that, now can I?”

“I’m not sure why you’re so worried about this; they were all your friends once.”

“Yeah well that was before I was shipped off to live with my estranged uncle in the Capital because my mom went bat shit insane.”

“That was like twelve years ago, they’ve probably forgotten all about that. Just enjoy tonight, that’s all Madge wanted from this.”

I give a huff of hot air, moving my fringe and obstructing my view. Gale’s right, I’m psyching myself up into a bundle of anxiety. I get up and pull a pair of tight tan jeans and put them on before digging around for another minute to find a large maroon sweater with three quarter length sleeves. I pair my outfit with the old combat boots that are way past broken in.

I turn to Gale and give him a look that asks if he approves of what I’m wearing and I receive a nod. Good, now we can face the music.

Madge waves us over the moment Gale and I step through The Hob’s front doors as if she’s been watching the door the entire time just waiting for us to walk through.

I immediately recognize everyone that is sitting at the circular booth. Madge, Johanna, Finnick, Annie, Darius, Thresh. Though I was closest to Madge before moving, I had considered Johanna and Darius my childhood best friends. Though Annie and Thresh were even quieter than I was growing up, I was good friends with them too. I have no idea why Finnick is here, he was in Gale’s grade. Maybe Gale invited him, but I didn’t think they were friends; something about how Gale thought Finnick was a pompous egotistical prick.

“I’m so glad you could make it Katniss! For a minute I thought you were going to bail on us,” Madge screeched as she pulls me into a bone crushing hug. I remembered Madge as being a tad bit shy in elementary school, but that must have rubbed off with age.

“Yeah, I couldn’t find anything to wear, I’m still trying to organize my closet,” I say lamely.

“Oh that’s understandable. Hi Gale,” I notice a blush creep up Madge’s neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t invite you myself, I don’t have your number.”

“No worries, Madge,” Gale says kindly.

“If you give me your number now, I can make sure you’re not excluded out of our next group outing?” Madge gives a timid smile.

“Okay,” Gale reaches deep into his pocket to retrieve his phone and hands it to Madge so she can program her number into his phone then call her phone so she has his number as well. Madge is giddy as a school girl the entire time.

Madge and Finnick, who are both sitting on the ends scoot over to allow Gale and I to sit, that’s when I notice Annie and Finnick’s hand intertwined with each other underneath the table. So that’s why he’s there. Everyone has already ordered their drinks so when our waitress comes to take their dinner orders, Gale and I order our drinks.

“So rumor on the grapevine, you got a job down at the Wildlife Center?” Johanna says once she finished her first beer.

“Uh, yeah,” I answer with all kind of uncertainty.  “Gale got me a job as a technician to one of the scientists there.”

“That scientist would be me,” Johanna says with a smirk.

I glance at Gale but he just gives me a lame shrug. “I didn’t know you worked at the Wildlife Center, or that you had your PhD.”

“Yeah well you weren’t around to discover that I am actually a genius and basically made school my bitch. Not even my main bitch but like my side bitch or my weekend bitch. Anyways, WC plucked me out of my lab one day for an internship and I’ve been there ever since. When I saw that you were among some of the new technicians we brought in, I snatched you up. You’re welcome in advance.”

“Oh, well thanks.”

“Yeah, numb nuts over here,” Johanna uses her thumb to point to Darius, “was my assistant technician but got caught growing weed and was therefore sacked.”

“You said that nobody ever goes to the north branch of the park since you can’t get there by ATV and the higher ups are lazy asses.”

“And because of that you thought it would actually be a smart idea to plant an illegal plant on government property?”

“Yeah,” Darius says as if it was self-explanatory.

“God I hope you’re not a dim-witted as this shit head,” Johanna laughs.

“I’m not, promise.”

The group asks me questions about how life has been. I give them vague answers before turning things back to them. Asking about what their life was like after I left. Johanna became a genius. Darius got fired and is actually now employed at The Hob; tonight is just his day off. Annie tamed Finnick who was the town’s biggest man whore and they’re expecting their first child in a little over twenty-seven weeks. Thresh, still quiet as ever, received a full ride to Panem U on a soccer scholarship and is now working on his master’s there. He’s just back in town to send off his baby sister, Rue, to college that is across the country. As for Madge, she’s a teacher at the elementary school where we all became school, teaching fourth grade.

Our food has arrived and silence settles in while everyone’s mouths are full. That’s when I absently scan the room and land on Peeta who just walks through the door. He immediately spots me and smiles.

“Peeta!” Madge greets him. “I didn’t think you could make it.”

“Yeah, I pulled some strings,” Peeta replies. “Hey, Katniss.”

“Hi Peeta,” I give him a smile then scoot over some to allow him to sit on the end.

“Sorry I couldn’t get here any sooner though, the bakery was swamped today. I’m going to miss Rue, was the best worker I’ve ever had, hands down,” Peeta tells Thresh.

“I’ll tell her you said that.”

“And tell her that if she thinks she’s going to come back here during summer and not work for me, she’s wrong,” Peeta laughs.

Thresh laughs along with him. “I’ll tell her.”

A silence falls over us again and the waitress comes back to take Peeta’s order but he just asks for a water with lemon. I scoot my basket of fish and chips across the table until it’s in between us to offer him some of my dinner, Peeta smiles and takes a fry but nothing else.

“So Peeta,” Madge begins. “We were just filling in Katniss on everything she’s missed. Tell her about Bran, Sage, and Jack.”

This peaks my interest because Peeta and I did our reintroductions yesterday. He mentioned taking over his father’s business after his parents moved closer to the beach and his eldest brother Bannock moved to the Capitol for some office job and Rye was off being Carmen Sandiego and traveling the world. Not once did the names Bran, Sage, and Jack come up. Not that Peeta has to tell me everything; I mean I don’t know the guy at all. Only that we were in the same grade and he was the youngest son to the friendly baker. He doesn’t owe me any information that he doesn’t want to share and the look on his face currently suggests that he really wished that Madge didn’t bring them up.

“Uh, okay,” Peeta says slowly. “Bran, Sage, and Jack are my children.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were married,” I say to take attention off of the kids obviously he doesn’t want to talk about.

“Actually I’m not married,” Peeta rubs his well-chiseled chin. “Well I was, but I got divorced about a year and a half ago.”

“Yeah,” Madge steps in. “Technically Delly got me in the divorce when they split up their friends but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“You were in the divorce agreement?” I ask skeptically but I can feel the tension radiating off of Peeta and I can tell that he doesn’t want to talk about this topic.

“Yeah, you know how when you get a divorce you have to decide which one of your friends you get to keep as a friend. Since Delly is my best friend, she got me in the battle.”

“Oh,” I state. “This fish is really good,” I then say to talk about anything else.

“It’s what I normally get here, but I don’t know how you can eat it with ketchup when there is tartar sauce right there,” Peeta points to the black plastic container that looks like mayonnaise with mixed relish in it.

“I’ll stick to ketchup.”

“You and your food choices wound me,” he says softly with a shake of his head.

To please him, I forgo the pile of ketchup on the side of my basket and dunk my fork of fish into the dish of tartar sauce and pop it into my mouth with a greasy smile. Peeta laughs and steals another French fry.

We stay until ten. Talking about everything but staying clear of Peeta’s private life, mine too for that matter. Every time someone asks about what Capital schools were like, I give a shrug and tell them something completely generic. After that we say our goodbyes and Madge says that this should become a weekly thing but I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, everyone was nice and I liked reacquainting with old friends again. Gale was right and it wasn’t as stressful as I made it out to be in my head, but I still don’t want to devote all my weekends to drinks at The Hob with them.

As we head to our cars, Peeta touches my elbow and motions me to wait until everyone is ahead of us.

“Sorry that I didn’t tell you I had kids or that I was married last night,” Peeta rubs the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry that Madge made you tell me about them when you didn’t want to.”

“It’s not that, it’s just that whole area is a mess and Delly and I aren’t on best terms right now, we didn’t have a smooth divorce and it was hard on the kids, especially on Bran because he’s older and knows that his parents hate each other, so I hate talking about it. Brings up unhealed wounds,” Peeta tries to explain.

“How old is Bran?”

“He’s turning nine at the end of the year.”

My eyes widen as I do the math. Peeta gives a nervous laugh and says, “Yeah Delly and I were sixteen when he was born. It was the talk of the town; teenage pregnancy. But we got married right away, before he was even born. Things were good for a year or two then for a year things were rocky and Delly found out she was pregnant again and everything was fine when Sage was born. So when things started going south again, we thought another baby would fix it. Shit fit the fan only days after Jack was born and I filed when we was like three weeks old and it took six months for the divorce to finalize. I got full custody.”

I’m amazed how much information Peeta offers me as we stand on the sidewalk outside of The Hob. Gale is waiting for me in his idling truck but I haven’t moved from the cement. I want to know more, Peeta’s life has been far more interesting than the rest of them, I don’t dare ask because I don’t want to seem nosy.

“Must be hard raising three kids while managing a bakery,” I say.

“Well someone has to do it,” Peeta says with a sigh.

“You’re a great Dad,” I say even though Peeta could be the world’s shittiest parent for all I know, but somehow I doubt that.

“Thanks. I’ll call you, maybe I can enlighten you even further to the world of good food,” he smirks.

“Lean Cuisine and ketchup is good food, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m going to have fun teaching you.”

“So you’re going to teach me. Are you a great teacher too?”

“The best.”

Peeta and I match with our large grins just as Gale impatiently honks his horn, signaling my time to leave. Once I get back into his truck I find him staring at me with a knowing smirk.

“What?” I snap defensively.

“Jesus Catnip, you’ve been back to 12 for like seventy-two hours and you already have Mopey Mellark doe eyed and swooning like a middle school girl,” Gale laughs speeding through a green light.

“Shut up, Peeta wasn’t doe eyed nor was he swooning,” I grumble.

Gale pulls up in front of the stairs that lead up to my apartment door. I jump out without waiting for Gale to cut the ignition. It doesn’t seem like he’s going to though. He rolls down the passenger window and hollers after me, “Just be careful with him, Kat. I know how you Everdeen women handle a vulnerable man’s heart!”

I don’t bother turning back as I stomp up the steps like a child while giving him the bird. Gale doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Peeta was just sharing information with me that I would have known if I had never left. We’re friends and that’s what friends do right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, my laptop is from decades before Jurassic park and the keyboard is shit and the keys have a tendency to stick from all of the sugary shit I've spilled on it over the years. So even though I write on Word and reread and try to spell check, sometimes I don't catch the errors and whatnot. I'm only human and I apologize in advance.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think and all that jazz. <3

**Unknown number** : hi it’s Peeta. I got your number from Madge.

I look at my phone at lunch and see Peeta’s text message and a smile creeps up on my face.

“Sexts are to be read aloud,” Johanna says. “It’s an unwritten company policy.”

“It’s not a sext, it’s Peeta.”

“Oh now you really have to read it. What does the Lover Boy want?”

“Lover Boy?”

“Even The Three Blind Mice could see how hard he was crushing on you at your welcome back to civilization Saturday,” she deadpans.

“Peeta wasn’t crushing on me. God, have you been talking to Gale?” I haven’t spoken to Gale myself since that night. I’ve been giving him the silent treatment like a child.

“No, but hearing that Gale has said the same thing means that it’s true. So spill.”

I look at Johanna; her dark, shoulder length hair is tied back with a brightly colored scarf, her red reading glasses dangle off the collar of her tight shirt and the black nail polish she’s sporting is starting to chip. If you passed her on the street, your first thought of Johanna would be a cross between a no good punk and a hippy, not genius scientist that spends most of her days looking at plant-based microorganisms under a microscope. The only thing that gives her away is the white lab coat and the name badge.

“There is nothing to spill. Peeta and I ran into each other at the supermarket Friday night and we caught up then again at The Hob,” I say without much enthusiasm while my thumbs twiddle over the touch screen.

“You hung out with him Friday night?”

“Yeah, he made me pasta.”

Johanna quirks her eyebrow at me in a very unimpressed way. “What kind of pasta?”

“The white sauced kind,” I deadpan.

“Studies show that ten out of ten guys that make white sauced pasta have middle school crushes on whoever they make it for.”

My face scrunches with a mixture of confusion and worry for Johanna’s thought process. “Peeta has three kids and owns a bakery. I don’t think he has time for middle school crushes. We’re just friends.”

“You weren’t friends with him before, why are you all the sudden best friends now?”

“I don’t know Jo,” I snap. “He’s just nice and doesn’t remind me of what I left behind.”

Johanna doesn’t seem the least bit put back at my anger towards her. I should be concerned seeing that she’s my boss, but that thought didn’t cross my mind when I yelled. “Whatever, just know that I’m going to tell you I told you so when I’m sitting in the first row at your wedding.”

“We went from middle school crushes to weddings? What’s next, are you going to tell me that I’m going to pop out a few of his kids as well?” Johanna laughs but nods her head. “You’re wrong, I don’t even want kids, or to get married.”

Johanna shrugs her shoulders and takes a large bite of a red apple affectively ending the conversation. I think about waiting until I’m alone to text Peeta back but that would signal that would make me look suspicious to Johanna and I don’t want that. I quickly add Peeta into my contacts before texting him back.

 **Katniss** : Hey! Sorry today’s my first day of work and didn’t see your text until I got to lunch.

 **Peeta** : I figured. I wondered if you’d let me cook dinner for you tonight. Show you life outside of the frozen food aisle.

My face heats up and I have to remind myself that Johanna is currently watching me, waiting for me to do something that will prove her theory correct. It’s not correct though. Johanna is wrong. Peeta has no feelings for me nor I for him. We don’t really even know each other.

 **Katniss** : How can I say no to a Peeta Mellark come cooked meal?

 **Peeta** : You can’t. (:

 **Peeta** : Bran will be at a sleep over so it’s just the little ones and they’ll be in bed by 7:30, so come over then?

 **Katniss** : Send me your address and I’ll be there.

 **Peeta** : Above bakery. Use the Alley door. See you then.

I quickly put my phone away and toss out the crust from my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and banana peel before giving Johanna a sideways glace. She’s smirking at me as if she already knows that Peeta is making me dinner again tonight. I try to make my face emotionless as I leave the break room and head for the lab to clean some of the beakers and slides Johanna and I used earlier today.

I loose myself in the notes Johanna has me write down. I don’t want my mind to wander to Peeta, but it does. I get this nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach when images of Peeta flit through my mind. I tell myself that I’m just not used to having friends, and I’m nervous how socially interacting with people other than my family. I stayed to myself while going to school in the Capitol because the kids were too ungrateful and mean. I remember one girl, Glimmer, called social services on her parents because they didn’t get her the right type of car for her sixteenth birthday. It’s hard to image anyone with good intentions nowadays. No, the nerves have nothing to do with Peeta’s mess of golden waves, bright blue eyes, or his hint of dimples in both of his cheeks.

I got off at five, giving me just enough time to come home and get ready to go to the bakery. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to wear. I decide to go for a comfortable casual look; printed knit shorts with a loose black tee shirt and a pair of flip flops. I clasp a necklace that Prim got me for my birthday one wear, a simple ‘k’ pendant, around my neck after I braid my long hair, that’s still slightly damp from the shower behind my back and bring the tail over my left shoulder. I do nothing to my face other than putting lotion on it and add cherry flavored chapstick, I don’t own any make up other than mascara and it’s not needed tonight.

It’s nearing a quarter past seven by the time I grab my purse and exit my apartment. It doesn’t take fifteen minutes to get across town at this time in the evening, but I was always taught that it’s better to arrive early than it is to arrive late.

I park behind the white minivan with the Mellark Bakery logo on the side in the alley. The door Peeta told me to use leads to a steep set of stairs and another door with green paint flecking off around the brass doorknob. I give a timid knock. Peeta said that his two younger kids would be sleeping and I don’t want the one to wake them.

I’m just about to knock again, a bit louder this time, when Peeta’s smiling appeared in the doorframe.

“Hi,” he says excitedly. “You look nice.”

Peeta opens the door further and lets me enter the apartment. It’s an open floor plan in the main living area. The kitchen and living room spill into one with a small kitchenette tucked into the corner, next to the large window. I’m immediately hit by the smell of something savory and mouthwatering. On cue my stomach growls and I hear Peeta chuckle behind me. I look around, it’s apparent that kids live here. Toys are tucked away in the corners and under tables as if Peeta tried to do some organizing and cleaning but it couldn’t get to all of it, finger painted pictures line the walls next to school pictures and family photos. I examine one of the three kids together. You can clearly tell that all of them resemble Peeta in one way or another.

“Bran will be nine in December. Sage is four and Jack just turned two,” Peeta says from behind me when he sees the picture I’m looking at.

“Bran doesn’t look like he’s turning nine.”

“He doesn’t act like it either. I swear he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. Not just book smart either. I wouldn’t be able to raise Sage and Jack while running the bakery without his help.”

“Selfless, like his father,” I compliment.

“I don’t know about that. I think I’m a pretty selfish person. But I guess you can’t be too selfish and have kids.”

I laugh. “You don’t know my mother then. She’s the selfish person I know.”

Peeta can sense my hostility towards my mom and doesn’t push the subject. Instead he gives me a light smile and tells me that dinner will be ready in a few minutes. I follow Peeta into the kitchen area and clearly see different pots on the stove and the oven light on, illuminating some sort of rolls.

“Red or white?” Peeta holds up two bottles of wine.

“I’m not much of a wine drinker so whatever you prefer.”

Peeta smiles and puts both bottles back from where he got them and turned to the fridge to produce two bottles of beer. I copy his smile as he cracks the amber bottle open and hands it to me.

“Thanks,” I say before taking a gulp. “Can I help with anything?”

“You can tell me about your day at work.”

Before I can stop myself I’m diving into how I spent today in the lab with Johanna, looking at different plants and microorganisms under the microscopes but hopefully later in the week I’ll be able to go out into the field and collect more samples. I don’t stop talking until Peeta has served both me and himself a bowl of steaming lamb stew over a bed of rice and fresh cheese buns.

“This is the best thing I’ve ever had,” I say in between mouthfuls.

“You should try my cheesecake then.”

“Did you make it?” I ask eagerly.

Peeta shakes his head no. “But I will the next time I make dinner for you.”

“Next time?” I quirk my eyebrow.

“If you’d like.”

“Guarantee cheesecake as the main course and I’m yours,” I joke.

Peeta smiles and we continue on with our meal. It’s hands down the best thing I’ve ever eaten. I’ve never had lamb before because in the Capitol it’s too expensive whereas here, it’s a more common meat. I remember the cheese buns from my childhood. It easily transports me back to the time where my father would take me to the bakery on some Saturday nights to buy the half priced goods that wouldn’t be fresh come Monday morning. Peeta’s father would always slip in an extra cheese bun for me to enjoy on the way home and they quickly became my favorite.

I insist on helping Peeta with the dishes even though he protests the entire time and once we’re done the clock reads almost nine. Peeta’s got to get up early tomorrow morning and do all of the prep work for the bakery and watch over Sage and Jack since Bran is at a friend’s, so I was surprised when Peeta asked if I wanted to watch a movie.

“Depends, are you going to make me watch sappy shit, or am I going to get to see things blow up?”

“I rented that new movie with Gloss Simmons and his sister in it; it’s supposed to be a good action movie.”

“Cashmere was a year older than me at Capitol; we were in the same lunch period.”

Peeta raises his eyebrows. “Was she a bitch, she seems like a bitch?”

“She was, but not the worst there was. This girl Glimmer was a nightmare. Take all Capitol stereotypes and blow them out of the water and you have Glimmer.”

“That must have sucked not growing up with normal people.”

I look at Peeta with a stunned expression. He’s the first person to view it the way that I do. Whenever I tell anyone else that I moved from the outmost lying district to the Capitol, they think it’s the greatest thing ever. They think I’m lucky and should enjoy every bit of the glitz and the glam that the Capitol has to offer.

“Thank you,” I tell him.

“For what?”

“For automatically understanding without me even having to tell you how horrible it really was.”

Peeta shrugs and instead of putting on the movie with the Simmons siblings, he puts on a classic. I’ve seen it a few dozen times and so has Peeta according to the fact that he’s not paying attention to the screen. I ask him about his day, since we’ve only talked about him, and he tells me about an upset customer he had today with a cake order. Peeta then goes on to talk about the crazy hours he has to work until he can find someone to replace Rue. I considered offering my services for weekends but figured I’d be do more harm than good, seeing as I have only microwaving skills and suck at customer service.

Towards the end of the movie I heard a small rustling sound coming from the hallway. I look back and see a little girl with large, frizzy curls in a pink nightgown rubbing her eyes.

“Peeta, someone’s awake,” I whisper lightly to him.

Peeta immediately looks back and jumps off the couch to scoop his daughter up in his arms. “What’s wrong Sagie?”

“The mutts were chasing me again,” Sage says in a small voice.

“Oh no, did you tell them to go away?”

She nods her head up and down, sending her blonde locks into her face. “Can I stay out here with you?”

“I have a friend over right now, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you go lay back down and I’ll make you some hot chocolate.”

While Peeta’s back is turned making Sage’s hot chocolate, instead of traveling back into her room, Sage climbs up on the couch beside me.

“Hi,” she says shyly. “I’m Sage Mellark.”

“Hi Sage Mellark, I’m Katniss Everdeen.”

Without thinking I reach forward and brush a lock of honey hair behind her ear; Sage smiles brightly and scoots a bit closer. I look up at Peeta who’s now watching with a perplexed look on his face.

“Why can’t you sleep?” I ask Sage.

“The mutts in my dreams scare me.”

“Oh, I used to get bad dreams when I was your age too.”

“Do you now?”

“Sometimes,” I shrug. “But whenever I have a bad dream, I sing a song that my dad used to sing to me whenever I got scared then I sang to my sister when she got scared.”

“Will you sing it to me?”

I pause before saying, “Sure.”

“ _Deep in the meadow, under the willow_  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes  
And when you awake, the sun will rise.”

Sage had taken it upon herself to crawl into my lap and tuck herself into my arm before I finished the first verse. I repeated the song over and over again in Sage’s ear softly until her breathing even out into slow, deep breaths. I tear my eyes from the sleeping child to Peeta who is still grounded in the kitchen with a small smile on his face and awe shining in his eyes.

 

XxX

Inspiration for Katniss' outfit [here](http://www.polyvore.com/untitled_694/set?id=129266247).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the spelling mistakes, my keyboard is a frozen dinosaur. I was going to use like text lingo but I don't text like that, so I didn't know how to do it, so yeah. Follow me on Tumblr @ tributeforthewolfpack I'm super close to my goal!


	4. chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update so soon?!

Once Sage is fast asleep, Peeta scoops her up out of my arms and carried her back to bed. I stare nervously at my clutched hands, wringing in my lap. I can’t help that I crossed over some invisible boundary. Before I have the chance to make this evening anymore awkward, I get up, put my shoes on and head for the door.

“Where are you going?” Peeta asks behind me.

“I should get going, it’s late.”

“Okay.” I think I hear a hint of disappointment laced throughout Peeta’s voice, but I can’t be sure.

“Thanks for comforting Sage. Normally it takes hours of books and checking under the bed and behind doors for her to get back to sleep.”

“It’s fine. It reminded me of when I used to sing to Prim after our dad died. She’d get these nightmares about the explosion and for years the only way she would sleep was if I sang to her.”

My voice goes soft at the memories that make a sudden appearance. I was nine years old when my dad died in a mining explosion that killed thirteen others, including Gale’s father. I can still hear my mother’s voice when I came home from school that day, telling me about the accident. Little Prim, just three at the time didn’t understand why we were both crying and it wasn’t until days later did she realize that her father would never walk through the front door, pick her up and swing her around like he used to.

Peeta uses his senses and smiles gently. “Well, don’t be surprised if I call you in the middle of the night and demand you drive over here just to get my daughter to get back to sleep.”

“It’ll have to cost you,” I joke.

“Anything,” Peeta pretends desperation.

“Keep these delicious dinners to a weekly occurrence and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“I’ll cook you dinner every night,” Peeta says with a hint of something I cannot place in his voice.

I bite my lip to fight a smile from forming.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

“Oh Miss. Everdeen, you don’t know me at all. I never make promises I don’t intend to keep.”

“You’re right, I don’t know you.”

“Yeah, but I’d like to change that.”

Peeta doesn’t let me leave until I take some leftovers home so I have something good to eat for lunch tomorrow. But when I do finally make my way back to the door we share a moment, a lingering silence falls over us as we stare at each other. I’m not sure why but I don’t want to be the one that says goodbye first.

I hold out as long as I can before it becomes too much and I have to look down in order to hide the blush rising up my neck to my cheeks. “I’m going to go,” I finally announce.

“Okay.”

Still we don’t move and I let out a nervous laugh, Peeta matches me, running a large hand through his messy mop of hair.

“Look, I’m just going to say it,” Peeta begins. “I had a lot of fun tonight for it just being dinner and an old movie and getting interrupted by one of my kids.”

“I did too,” I agree with him.

“So I’m not going to wait those required three days and instead I’m going to call you tomorrow and ask you if you’d want to do this again sometime.”

“I’ll probably say yes, but only if you make that cheesecake you were promising.”

“Consider it made.”

“Then I’m looking forward to your call,” I smirk. “Goodnight Peeta.”

It’s not until I get home and I’m in bed, replaying our conversation, do I groan. I blatantly flirted with Peeta and agreed to another dinner with him. Why would I do that? He’s got kids, three kids. Peeta doesn’t need any more baggage and I come with two duffel bags and a carry-on full of unneeded shit. I’ll do dinner with him, but I’ll make it clear that it’s purely platonic. It’s for his own good anyways.

XxX

It’s clear that my own promise to myself for letting Peeta know that we only share a building friendship is failing. It’s not even noon yet and I’ve already talked to Peeta about another dinner Friday night and we’ve shared a handful of text messages that contain lots of smiley faces. I’m heading down a very dangerous path but I’m ignoring all the signs.

Ten year old Johanna was old, crass and opinionated. It’s clear that those traits only intensified the older she got. Johanna has found a way to wiggle herself into the middle of situation with Peeta. She makes a point to put in her two cents about everything, even if I didn’t ask for it, which I never do.

“So do his kids call you mom yet?” Johanna asks the moment I step into the lab. I just got back from spending the morning hiking with Gale in the woods, looking for a certain type of plant that has suddenly grown out of control and is killing off the other plants indigenous to this part of the country.

“I’ve only met one of them.”

“Yeah and you sang her a lullaby and chased away the monsters. Why hasn’t he proposed yet?”

“Jesus Jo, we had dinner. We’re not going to be picking out china patterns anytime soon.”

“No, but there will be patterns. And there will be a house with a picket fence, and you’ll pop out another kid, maybe get a dog so the little ones can learn responsibility. The kids will end up calling you mom and Peeta will end up always using the phrase ‘I don’t know, go ask your mother.’ whenever the kids ask him anything.”

“Such the psychic,” I kid.

“Nah, I just call it like I see it. And you my friend have married with children in a year written all over your face.”

“Do not. Peeta and I are just friends.”

XxX

Friday comes and by the time I get off work and set into my apartment, I’m a ball of nerves. Peeta and I have talked every day since our last dinner; mostly good morning text messages and asking how our day went when Peeta calls at night. I’ve developed light bags under my eyes from the late night phone calls. I should feel bad for keeping Peeta up considering he has to be up at five in the morning to start heating the ovens, but I don’t.

I change my outfit three times. My first outfit being a dress that I found in the back of my closet, it would be classified as formal so I ditch it for another dress that is more casual only to scrap the dress idea all together and settle for denim shorts and a loose maroon top.

Peeta asked me to come over at half past six this time and I’m running behind, doing slightly above the speed limit the entire way to Peeta’s.

“Sorry I’m late!” I announce the second Peeta pulls the door open.

“Only by like five minutes,” Peeta glances down at his watch.

The living room floor is cluttered with toys and Peeta attempts to shove them under the coffee table and couch as we pass through onto our way to the kitchen. I can hear children playing somewhere, probably in one of the kids’ room.

“I tried getting my parents to take them for the night so dinner could be civilized but that didn’t happen,” Peeta says.

“That’s fine. I think being civil is highly overrated,” I grin.

“Hi Katniss Everdeen!” I turn to see Sage running into the kitchen; her blonde hair is in a sad attempted ponytail.

“Hey Sage Mellark, how are you?”

“I’m playing with my brother Jack. Do you want to play with us?”

“What are you playing?”

“Dress up,” Sage says at the exact moment the youngest Mellark comes tottering out of the back bedroom. He’s wearing a dress, a crown and play eye shadow.

“Sage,” Peeta says with a sigh. “What have I told you about putting Jack in your dress up clothes?”

“Not to,” Sage mumbles and I have to stifle a laugh.

“Where’s Bran?” Peeta asks Sage as he picks up Jack and sets him on the counter top to wipe off the make-up.

“Playing video games. He wouldn’t let Jack into their room so that’s why Jack was playing with me.”

“Brandon!” Peeta calls out his eldest son’s full name.

Moments later a miniature Peeta appears in the kitchen. He looks exactly like how I remember Peeta; square face, messy hair, starting to fill out his broad shoulders. “What?”

“You can’t lock Jack out of your guy’s room or else Sage gets ahold of him and Jack becomes her life sized Barbie doll.” Bran huffed but didn’t talk back. “Can you set the table, dinner’s ready.”

Sage insists that she sits next to me as she asks me question after question. Peeta tries to get her to stop and eat her chicken nuggets which I raised an eyebrow at because they came out of the freezer, but she doesn’t listen.

“My teacher said that you came from the capitol,” Bran says after he silently ate all of his grilled chicken.

“I moved there when I was ten. I was born here though,” I answer.

“Why did you move there?”

“Uh, my mom got sick and we had to move in with my uncle.”

“My teacher said that your mom went crazy because your dad got blown up and you were put in an orphanage.”

“Brandon!” Peeta shouts harshly. “Say you’re sorry now.”

“I’m sorry,” Bran looks down at the sautéed broccoli growing cold on his plate.

“It’s okay.”

Peeta excuses himself and the children and quickly gets them ready for bed straight after dinner, despite all three of the kids’ protests. He’s only gone fifteen minutes tops before walking back into the kitchen to retrieve the cheesecake out of the fridge.

Peeta hands me a large piece with drizzled chocolate and caramel on top. With the first bite, I’m in heaven.

“I’m so sorry about the kids. They aren’t used to people being over. I mean Finnick and Annie come over a lot but they’re basically family,” Peeta sighs as he rubs the back of his neck.

“It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I can’t believe Bran actually said that. I took away his Xbox.”

“You didn’t need to do that. He was just curious, and it’s not like what he said wasn’t true.”

Peeta looks at me quizzically. I almost want to tell him about the year between my dad’s death and moving to the capitol. I don’t though, I’ve grown to like talking to him too much, and telling him that story would definitely send him running for the hills; friendship terminated.

“Even if it’s true or not, still doesn’t people the right to invade your personal life.”

I shrug, not really up for this conversation, especially with Peeta. He wouldn’t get it. He had the perfect life; two healthy and living parents, brothers that showed their love through playful roughhousing, a nice house, friends. Peeta never went to bed hungry or fear that someone might find out how bad their home life really is. Peeta had security, whereas I did not.

Peeta’s cell phone rings expectantly and he excuses himself to I’m assuming his bedroom to answer it. I consider leaving, but that would hurt Peeta’s feelings and I don’t want damage this friendship.

I hear a door open and close, I turn expecting to hear an apology from Peeta but its Bran.

“Hey, I thought you were sleeping,” I tell him as he walks over to the couch I’m sitting on.

“Sorry about what I said at dinner,” Bran apologizes again; that must be a family trait.

“You’ve already said sorry, its fine.”

“I know but that was when Dad told me to. Now I’m saying it on my own.”

“Oh. Well I accept your apology.”

Bran takes a seat on the cushion beside me. He seems a lot younger in his mismatched pajamas than he did at dinner when he was setting the table and helping Jack with his chicken nuggets. All his life he’s had to play the second parent to his two younger siblings, much like I was to Prim.

“Are you and my dad dating?” I’m taken aback by Bran’s blunt question. “Cause he really likes you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Did you see him at dinner?” Bran answers my question with a question of his own. “He never acts like that, even when Grandma comes over. He’s a nightmare when Grandma visits.”

“I didn’t notice,” I mutter.

“We have a good eye doctor; I’ll give you his number.”

  I laugh loudly and Bran grins. “My dad is going to ask you if you want to go to the park with us on Sunday. You should say yes.”

“Hey Bran, what are you doing up?” Peeta asks coming out of his bedroom.

“I’m telling Katniss how horrible we are and that we don’t brush our teeth before bed,” Bran says sarcastically.

“Honestly Peeta, what kind of children are you raising? I thought you were joking about them being uncivilized but this is downright caveman-like,” I kid.

“Come on Brandon, bed time,” Peeta smiles.

I watch as he kisses the top of his oldest son’s head and mutters ‘I love you’ before taking a seat on the couch. We are quiet for several moments. It’s not an awkward or uncomfortable silence though. It’s a comforting one. The kind where you shut your eyes and listen to the even, deep breathing of the only other person in the room. A silence that only feels like seconds but the hands on the clock that hangs on the wall begs to differ.

“When are you going to invite me to the park?” I ask breaking the peacefulness.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to go, after tonight being such a mess.”

I look at Peeta quizzically. “Tonight was anything but a mess. I like your kids, they’re funny. It’s crazy how much of myself I see in Bran. I think he was just sizing me up tonight; it’s something I would have done if my mom brought anyone home.”

“So if I asked if you wanted to come to the park with us on Sunday would you say yes?”

“Most certainly.”

“Well then it’s a date.”

My smile is bigger than it should be but I can’t help myself, everything about Peeta is so infectious. Just his presence alone could make an entire room feel bubbly.

We stay on the couch, talking until after midnight. Talking in person is much better than talking on the phone because Peeta is so expressive and I love to watch how he uses his entire body to talk. Especially when he talks about something Peeta’s so passionate about; baking, the bakery, and his kids. I could sit here at listen to him until the sun comes up and not grow bored or even tired.

But we can’t because Peeta works on a baker’s schedule and needs to get at least a few hours of sleep before getting up in the morning to tend to the bakery downstairs.

My departure is less awkward than last time. We didn’t stand there at the front door looking at each other like idiots. Instead the moment I put my shoes back on, Peeta wrapped his arms around me and embraced me in a warm hug. Bodily contact isn’t something I’m used to, but it’s nice. Peeta has somehow managed to make sugar smell manly and has the ability to be soft yet solid at the same time.

“Text me when you get home so I don’t have to worry about you,” Peeta murmurs as soon as we part.

“Will do. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Katniss.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly love you guys so much for all of the feedback I've gotten on here, FFN, and on tumblr, y'all are amazing.


	5. Chapter 5

It's nice to be sitting in the middle of the woods, listening to mockingjays chirp, with my best friend sitting next to me. I hadn't spent any time with Gale since Saturday night, and that didn't even count. I was so happy that he called earlier this morning, saying that he'd been feeling like going on a non-work related hike and wanted to know if I'd be up for it. Of course I was. There are no trees in the Capitol and I'm desperate to get back to my roots.

"So," Gale prompts.

"So what?"

"Did you have dinner with Peeta two nights this week?"

"Did you invite me on this hike with you just so you could ask me that?" I answer his question with a question of my own.

"Partially, now answer the question."

"Yes," I say begrudgingly. "I had dinner with him on Monday then dinner with him and his kids on Friday. Do you have a problem with that?"

"In a way, yes I do."

I look at Gale in disbelief. He, of all people, has a problem with my friendship with Peeta.

"And why is that?"

"Come on Katniss, he's got kids and you hate kids. This is destined to end badly."

"Firstly, I never said I hated kids, it's just that I don't want to have any. Secondly, why does everyone think that Peeta and I are going to get married and have kids? We're just friends for crying out loud!" I throw a piece of moss that I've been picking at to show emphasis.

"I know you Katniss, you'll think that it's not a serious thing and then one day you'll find out how deep you are and bail, leaving both Peeta and his kids high and dry. You've done it before."

I make a point not to meet Gale's insistent gaze. I know exactly what he's talking about. Despite living in different parts of Panem for the majority of our lives, Gale and I always remained close. One summer when Gale graduated high school and was starting my sophomore year, he came to the Capitol to spend the summer with me.

I'm not sure when it happened but Gale and I slid into the more than friends zone without even realizing it. To the point where heated kisses were exchanged and the world lost one more virgin that night. It happened a few more times and then Gale went and told me he loved me. Shit hit the fan and we both said things that we've gone to regret. Gale went home early and we didn't speak to each other for six months.

I ripped his heart out basically and Gale thinks I'll do that to Peeta.

"Peeta's not you," I mutter.

"Ouch."

"I didn't mean it like that. You're my best friend."

"I know and I've come to realize that that is all I'll ever be and I'm come to totally agree with that," he quickly adds when I open my mouth to protest. "We're too much alike to actually work."

Cicadas hum off in the distance and I focus on that, not the tall and annoying figure next to me. God, everyone is this town has to put their two cents into place it's not needed. It's almost worse than the Capitol,  _almost._

"Look," Gale says after a small eternity of keeping quiet.

I turn to him to see what he wants, quirking my eyebrow up as if I was asking 'what?'

"You might think that you two are just friends, but I can tell that it's already more than that. So if you think you know what you're doing, I'll support it."

"And if I don't know what I'm doing?"

"Most of the time you don't know what you're doing, but you always figure it out. Just do what makes you happy."

XxX

Gale's words ring in my ears Saturday night and into Sunday.  _Just do what makes you happy._ I wonder what would make me happy. Images of me sitting on Peeta's couch, curled into his side, Sage and Jack playing on the floor in front of us with the voice of Bran playing video games enters my mind. Those are dangerous thoughts. But it was a nice thought nonetheless. And it made me happy, and that's what Gale told me to do right?

Prim and I Facetime while I'm getting ready and she ends up picking out my outfit. One of the few dresses that I own, it's orange with a scoop neck and hits just above the knee. It looks good with the brown strappy sandals I never wear and a slim brown belt that Prim makes me wear as an accessory. At first Prim was against me wearing an off white cardigan, saying that I have amazing shoulders and they shouldn't be hidden, but it's the beginning of September and starting to grow colder, so I wear it anyways.

"So Little Duck how was your first week of college?"

Prim dives how different college is from high school. She's met some people but still spends most of her time with Rory. Just at his name I can see my sister's deep blush on the apples of her cheeks.

"Primrose Everdeen, are you and Rory Hawthorne dating?" I tease.

"Well," Prim begins, "it's not official or anything but we have been spending a lot of time together."

"Be careful Primrose, use protection."

"Katniss!" she scolds. "We haven't done anything like that. Rory is the complete opposite of his brother if I remember correctly. He gets nervous just trying to hold my hand; it's the cutest thing really."

I choose to ignore Prim's snide comment about Gale because for one it's true and second I have to leave.

"I have to go Little Duck. I love you, make sure you call mom and Uncle Haymitch," I remind her.

"Will do. Love you, have fun today."

I click the red circle and slip my phone into my purse before heading out of the door.

XxX

Peeta and the kids are already at the park when I arrive. I find Peeta sitting at the closet picnic table by the playground, a red and white checkered cloth hangs over the table with a large basket sitting on the top.

"Hey," Peeta grins when he sees me. He stands to hug me; his lips graze my cheek lightly. "You look beautiful."

"Hi, thank you. You don't look so bad yourself. I think this is the first time where you don't have flour somewhere on you."

"Yeah, I shower on special occasions," Peeta jokes.

"And what makes today so special?"

"Well after lunch, I'm going to go make the kids play then I'm going to confess to you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since Monday and hope that you've been thinking about me too."

"The kids are playing now; does it have to wait for after lunch?" I flirt.

Peeta gives me a goofy, lopsided grin. "I can't stop thinking about you and it's driving me nuts. I burnt a loaf of bread yesterday because I was too busy thinking about today."

"That must have been some serious thinking if you, of all people, burnt an entire loaf of bread."

"Yeah, don't tell anyone. I'm trying to keep my baking record clean."

"Hm, what's in it for me?"

I hadn't realized how close we've gotten until Sage comes jogging up to us, shouting my name. I jump back and try to hide my flustered face with a wide smile.

"Katniss Everdeen, will you swing with me?" I laugh at the fact she's only called me by my full name so far.

"How about we eat first Princess?" Peeta suggests.

"I'll swing with you after. I'll even push you if you'd like."

Sage's eyes grow wide with excitement. Peeta calls for his two sons as he begins taking sandwiches out of the basket and setting them on the table.

"I wasn't sure what kind of sandwiches you liked so I made an assortment," Peeta say nervously.

"I'll literally eat whatever you put in front of me. I'm the least picky person in the world."

"That's nice to know. I live with the two pickiest people in the world," Peeta says about Sage and Jack. They're young and only like the things they know and don't want to try other things, it's understandable.

I take a seat next to Peeta with Jack on the other side of him and Sage and Bran sit across from us. I find myself asking Bran and age about school; Bran just started third grade and Sage is going to preschool. Bran tells us all about being the most popular in school because he shares his cookies and everyone loves Mellark's cookies. Sage talks about loving school because she gets to paint all she wants there, whereas the paint at the house is only for Peeta when he gets time to paint.

"I can paint you something tomorrow if you want," Sage tells me with a mouthful of peanut butter sandwich.

"I'd love that!" I say adding extra enthusiasm. "What are you going to paint me?"

"It's a surprise," Sage smirks.

"I'm going to play soccer soon," Bran announces.

"Really?" I turn my full attention to him.

"Yeah my first game is Saturday morning, right Dad?" Peeta nods silently. "Do you want to come?"

I raise my eyebrows and look at Peeta who is also giving a look of surprise. I don't want to say yes and it not be okay with Peeta nor do I want to say no and offend anybody, so I wait for Peeta to say something.

"It's at like eight in the morning but if you're up for it, we'd love to have you there."

"Then I'm there," I smile at Bran who smiles back.

I feel Peeta's hand rest on my bare knee discreetly. He squeezes it gently and I put my hand on top of his, lacing our fingers together. We stay like that, linked together hidden under the table, until lunch is done with and Sage is begging to swing with me. Peeta asks if I could watch over Jack as he cleans up.

Jack grins at me shyly but accepts me as I reach to pick him up. "Hi Jack."

"Hi," he giggles sweetly.

I push Sage with Jack still sitting on my hip until she decides that she wants to show me how high she can get on her own so I take the vacant seat beside her, swinging lightly and making Jack laugh as I periodically tickle his pudgy belly. Bran tells me about soccer practice and how couch wants him to play goalie and that his jersey is a different color than the rest of the kids on the team and that makes him special.

"Do you play soccer?"

"No, I wasn't very good at sports growing up, or that social," I tell Bran.

"What did you used to do when you were little then?"

"Before my dad died, he caught me how to use a bow and arrow."

"Were you any good?"

"She could shoot a squirrel straight through the eye when she was only seven years old," Peeta says joining us. "Grandpa used to buy them and cook them up for dinner in stews and casseroles."

"I didn't know that you knew that."

"Of course," Peeta beams. "It's hard not to take notice when a pretty girl comes to your back door with blood tinged hands hiding behind her dad's legs."

"What else did you notice?"

"Everything," Peeta says with a look in his eyes that makes all the air in my lungs disappear.

"Everything?"

"From the first day of kindergarten till the day you left for the train station."

I smile but don't say anything else since the kids are all looking at us with curiosity. I'll have to ask Peeta more about what he noticed about me when we're alone though, whenever that may be.

Peeta tells the kids that it's time to go and invites me back to his place but I decline. Today has been too much of a sensory overload and if I go over to Peeta's I might end up doing something stupid, like kissing him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all mistakes are mine, everything else is SC.

Over the next week I decline every one of Peeta’s invitations to come over. Not that I don’t want to because God I want to, it’s just that whenever Peeta’s around I become not myself and totally transform into this person I’m not used to. 

To take my mind off of him I get back into shooting with my bow. During lunch I go out into the woods and set up a target practice of sorts until I can hit the bulls eye without a second thought. I also spend more time with Johanna, we’ve gone to The Hob a few times to have a drink after work, and she’s somehow gotten me to spill all my thoughts and questions about Peeta.

“So I was right, you like him,” she tells me while sitting cross-legged on my battered sofa eating out of a Chinese take-out container.

“He has kids,” I say if that is an excuse not to like somebody.

“And you’ve got small tits.”

“Hey!” I scold and cover my breasts protectively.

“Oh I’m sorry; I thought we were stating the obvious. He’s got kids, so what?”

“I’m not good with kids.”

“You’ve already had dinner and went to the park with them so I call bullshit on the not liking kid’s things. Didn’t you tell the oldest one you’d go to his soccer game?”

“Yeah,” I grumble.

“When is it?”

“Tomorrow at eight.”

“Looks like it’ll be an early morning for you then.”

“I can’t go.”

“Why not?”

I give a frustrated sigh. “I’ve blown all of Peeta’s attempts for us to hang out this week. I can’t all the sudden show up at Bran’s game.”

“Sure you are. It’ll be your way of apologizing cause we all know you suck at that.”

I roll my eyes. I know that if Peeta blew off all my attempts to get together then he randomly showed up at one of my kids’ soccer games, I’d be upset and maybe even a little jaded. But Peeta isn’t me; he’s not cynical or unforgiving. He sees the best in everything and everyone. Johanna is right, I could easily use this as my excuse and all would be forgiven. Peeta would be thrilled that I showed up. I do want to see Peeta again but I’m having a tough time pushing my pride out of the way.

“Brainless I swear to all that is holy, if you do not show up to poor little Bran’s soccer game tomorrow after promising that you would. You’re a horrible person,” Johanna says and she’s not being dramatic.

“Jo—“ I start but she cuts me off.

“No, listen to me. I’ve been one of Peeta’s closer friends for a long time now, we’ve all been his friends, but the only two people that have seen those kids more than a handful of times are Annie and Finnick and that’s only because Finnick is Peeta’s best friend and Annie is a sweetheart. He doesn’t mix his family life with his social life for two reasons, one of them being that he doesn’t have a social life. Seriously, when we all got together at The Hob that was the first time any of us had seen Peeta outside of the bakery in months.”

We sit in silence for moments as I reflect on what Johanna just told me. “What’s the second reason?” I ask when I remember that she only gave the first reason.

“Delly fucked Peeta up. He gave her every part of him from the time they were sixteen till they were almost twenty-three. She’s not here if you haven’t noticed. Decided that the whole being a wife and having kids’ thing wasn’t for her and perused her dream to be a journalist for some online blog about traveling the world. Not only did that fuck Peeta up but it fucked the kids up. And Peeta’s going to make damn sure that the people he surrounds his kids with are people he wants in his life further down the road. If you’ve met them and are going on picnics and to soccer games, he’s already made up his mind about you.”

“But it’s only been a week, how could he have possibly made up his mind about me in a week?”

“Peeta’s got this great sixth sense on being able to read people.”

I gnaw on my bottom lip as Johanna gives me a knowing look.

“You like him Katniss, why are you making it this difficult?”

I don’t know why I’m making it difficult at all. I’ve tried using the kids excuse but honestly, I like them. I see so much of myself in Bran and Prim in age. Jack is just the cutest thing ever, and his smile is exactly like Peeta’s, making everyone forget their worries and troubles. I could use the excuse that we’ve only known each other for a week but that’s a lie. I knew Peeta from the time I was five. We just didn’t talk. I could use the ridiculous excuse of not knowing if I like Peeta or Peeta might not like me, but it’s pretty clear at this point we wear our hearts on our sleeves when it comes to each other.

“I have a feeling that this isn’t going to end well,” I mutter.

“What are you talking about? It’s going to end with you married, pregnant, and in a two story house,” Johanna smiles.

XxX

I park my jeep next to the Mellerk’s Bakery van in the soccer field parking lot early Saturday morning. I can see that Bran’s game has already started but I’m not too late; it’s doubtful that someone has already scored. I’m late because I spent most of the morning worrying about what to wear, then the rest of the time scolding myself for acting so superficial. I knew Peeta wouldn’t care what I had on, but that didn’t stop me from trying to look decent and spending a few extra moments putting on mascara.

Peeta stands with his back towards me as Sage and Jack sit in child sized folding chairs beside him, enjoying their mini bottles of water and apple slices. Before I make my presence known I take a moment to admire Peeta’s backside. I’ve never looked at it before, but it looks extremely nice in the pair of grey athletic shorts he’s wearing. Too bad his blue zip-up hoodie is masking his muscular back.

I nervously come to stand beside him, starting to rethink even getting up this morning. Instead of running, like my mind is telling me, I take a deep breath and mutter, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Peeta says barely looks at me then quickly does a double take. “Katniss, what are you doing here?”

“Oh um, I said I’d be here. Is that still okay?” I fear that I’ve overstepped my boundaries.

“It’s perfectly okay, I’m really glad to see you. I didn’t know if you were going to come or not.” I know he’s referring to my constant blow offs which immediately makes my stomach churn with guilt.

I give Peeta the best smile I can conjure up. “I wouldn’t miss Bran’s first game as goalie. How’s he doing?”

We turn our attention to the game briefly before Sage steals away my attention, insisting that I color with her. So I won’t get my shorts wet with dew, Sage offers me her chair that way she can sit on my lap. I’m honestly surprised how well this chair is built seeing as it was made for a child in mind and not an adult along with a child. Still, it holds, and I look over Sage’s shoulder as she begins drawing stick figures and clouds. Occasionally I’ll look over to Jack who is shoving apples and grapes into his face without a care, and then my eyes will flit to Peeta who stands shoulder length apart with his arms folded over his chest, eyes trained on the game, looking much like the rest of the dads. I make it a point to remember a few details so I can talk to Bran about them later, like ask him what certain things mean, or why the ref did what he did.

The ref calls a halftime and Bran follows his team off the field and surrounds the coach for a moment before coming over to us.

“Katniss, you came! Dad said you weren’t going to come,” Bran says as soon as he sees me.

“I said I don’t know if Katniss would come or not,” Peeta corrects his son with reddening cheeks.

“Do you really think I’d tell you that I’d come to your game then not show up?” That’s exactly what I was going to do.

Bran doesn’t answer as he takes a large gulp of water and the coach is calling his name again. He smiles at me and heads off to the rest of the team.

“Do you really have that much doubt about me?” I tease Peeta. I know I have that much doubt about myself, but I hoped he’d at least have some sort of optimism in where this could lead.

Peeta shakes his head in a dismissive way. “No, just over cautious.”

We share a smile and the game continued. Bran is a good goalie. With his broad frame and quick reflexes he’s able to block all attempts to score a goal from the other team, leaving his team with the victory when the referee blows the final whistle.

“Did you see that?” Bran exclaims after him and his team took a victory lap around the field.

“You looked so cool when you jumped into the air to block that last shot. I thought I was watching Beckham play,” I smile and ruffle his sweaty locks with my fingers.

“Are you coming over Katniss? Dad promised that we could order pizza,” Bran looks between Peeta and myself.

“We’d love having you, but if you already have plans that’s fine,” Peeta tells me.

“I don’t have anything planned,” I shrug.

Peeta and Bran give me the same smile and for a moment, the only real difference between father and son is the height. While Peeta and Bran went to listen to what the coach had to say about today’s game, I offered to fold up Sage’s and Jack’s chairs and watch over them.

Sage and Jack chase each other as I pack up, slinging the fold up chairs over my shoulder and picking up the small cooler that houses a few juice boxes and apples.

“Come on guys, let’s get this stuff to the car,” I call for them.

Sage dances around my feet and Jack rests on my hip as we make it to the Mellark’s van. I open the unlocked side door and set Jack in his seat before rounding to the trunk and depositing the chairs. When I come back around, I spot Peeta and Bran walking their way to us. I quickly buckle Jack into his car seat then watch as Sage shows me bow she can buckle herself into her booster seat.

By the time Sage is done showing me, Bran is opening up the passenger and climbing in.

“You don’t have to come over if you don’t want to,” Peeta tells me once all of the van doors are securely shut.

“Do you not want me to come over?” I ask with the fear of rejection welling up in the pit of my stomach.

“No!” Peeta says quickly. “It’s just kids are a handful and I’d understand if you weren’t comfortable or didn’t want to spend your Saturday with them.”

“Peeta,” I start firmly. “I want to. Your kids are fun.”

Peeta’s smile widens until it takes up his entire face. “Well then, follow us.”

XxX

It’s really amazing how comfortable Peeta’s house is. It’s warm and inviting. Obviously lived in with all of the toys scattered around the floor and the colorful artwork tapped on the walls. With a belly full of pizza, I lean back on the plush couch. At that moment Peeta scoots closer to me and nonchalantly putting his arm over the back of the couch for me to lean on. It’s a nice gesture, one that made me grin to myself.

The kids are all sprawled on the floor with the beginning credits of Disney’s Brave starting to roll. Peeta tells me that Sage watches it every day, and the boys don’t mind because it has bears in it.

“I can shoot one of those, you know,” I tell Sage who has her eyes glued to the television.

She whips her head towards me with a sudden look of awe plastered on her face. “Really?”

“Yeah, my dad taught me when I was little.”

“Can you teach me?”

“If your dad says it’s okay.” I look over to Peeta and see that he’s already smiling.

“Only if you teach me too.”

XxX

Night falls before anyone realizes it. I stay for dinner too, only because the neither kids nor Peeta gave me much choice. We had sandwiches and chips with bread that Peeta made from the bakery. It’s baffling how amazing fresh, homemade bread could taste.

Soon the kids are all in bed, having said goodnight to me and Peeta.

“I should get going. I promised Gale that I’d go out into the woods with him tomorrow morning.”

Peeta nods. “I’ll walk you out.”

Peeta quietly follows me down the steps and out the side door to the well illuminated alleyway.

“The kids like you,” Peeta says softly once we reach the driver’s side of my Jeep.

“I like them too.”

“And I like you,” he grins.

I feel blush coming up my neck and immediately I feel like I should be in middle school. “And I like you too.”

“Good because that would have sucked if you didn’t.”

I laugh and Peeta’s grin grows wider.

“So, I’m going to kiss you now,” Peeta speaks nervously.

I nod my head in allowance as Peeta inches closer to me. He’s close enough that I can smell his breath, minty, which sends me into a series of questions on when he ate a mint and what my breath might smell like. But I do not have enough time to completely fret because Peeta’s lips are on mine; warm and thought erasing.

His lips work against mine, slowly as first, as if he was testing the waters. I remember what Johanna had said about him not going out with anyone after Delly. He’s nervous, and this makes me smile and slowly take lead, opening my mouth slightly, telling Peeta that this is more than okay.

Peeta takes my hint immediately and it seems to have awoken something deep inside him. His tongue swipes along mine before he sucks lightly on my bottom lips and pushes me back against my car door. His hands find purchase on my hips, his fingertips gliding along the patch of bare skin between my tee shirt and jeans. I let out a light moan into Peeta’s mouth which he swallows greedily and begs for more, moving his hands higher and pressing himself even further into me.

It doesn’t matter how close we are, that I can feel Peeta hardening against my stomach, we’re still not close enough. I need more. But as soon as all my thoughts are clouded with thoughts of Peeta, he pulls away, leaving too much space between us.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen,” Peeta says as he tries, and fails, to hide his arousal.

“It’s fine.”

“I don’t do this, Katniss. I haven’t even thought about being with someone since Delly,” he tells me honestly.

My heart melts. “It’s fine,” I repeat. “This is all pretty new to me as well. So we don’t have to rush into anything, let’s just let things happen.”

Peeta leans his head in and kisses me swiftly. “I’m really glad you’ve come home.”

“Me too.”

XxX

I don’t find sleep easy that night. Peeta’s planted himself into every one of my thoughts. All I can think about is him, and the warnings Gale has given me and the information Johanna shared with me on Friday. _Do what makes you happy._ There are Gale’s words again and Peeta’s face flashes behind my eyelids. Peeta makes me happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, it seems like forever since I last updated. My life has taken a radical turn and is suddenly very hectic. I'm going to try to get another chapter up shortly, which should be easier because the plot speeds up quite a bit. The reason for the Mature rating is going to be taking place soon. Thanks for reading and for those heading back to school, be brave.  
> HAPPY SHARK WEEK.


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly didn't even know where to end this, so it's just there. I do not have kids, all of my friends have kids and I am a nanny for a two and four year old. They are my world and Bran, Sage, and Jack are heavily based on them as well as Katniss' relationship with them. I want to get the next chapter out this weekend but no promises.  
> All mistakes are mine seeing as this is very unbetaed and characters and such belong to SC.

Over the weeks a system of sorts formed. I spent every day at Peeta's after work. I don't even stop by my apartment first. Peeta is normally still finishing up his long shift at the bakery but the kids are all home from school so I go right up and hang out with them. Sometimes I'll help Bran with his homework, or watch Brave with Sage, or color and play with action figures with Jack. And when Peeta makes his way up stairs, he offers me a swift kiss before we start on dinner together.

After dinner we watch a bit of television or we'll break out the kids' paint and we'll spend the rest of the night swirling all the different colors onto the paper. Sometimes when Sage can't sleep, I'll crawl into her bed and sing to her until her breath evens out into deep and peaceful exhales. Afterwards I curl around Peeta on the couch. My legs fold over his as his arm drapes over my shoulder and hand rests on a bare patch of skin on my hip. I sink further into Peeta's chest and breathe in his scent; warm baked bread mixed with the musky scent of his body wash.

We share only a few kisses though. Always too chaste for either of our liking but Peeta is still nervous and I'm not going to push him.

In all honesty I'm nervous as well. I've spent my whole life living a certain way; keeping my emotions in check. No thoughts of an actual relationship or marriage or kids. Now in just a matter of weeks all of those things have crossed my mind. Maybe not having kids of my own, but more than once I've wondered how Bran or Sage or Jack are all doing and how I can't wait to get home to them.

Johanna teases me relentlessly about how domestic I am. Every time she asks me if I want to get a drink with her after work at The Hob, I turn her down with the same excuse; I promised the kids I'd do something with them.

“Should I start looking for my bridesmaid dress now?” Johanna smirked.

“Peeta and I haven’t even used the terms boyfriend and girlfriend yet. I’m not even sure if we’re dating or still in the friends zone. I think you may be a bit ahead of yourself.”

“Please,” Jo scoffs. “If you’re ditching me to hang out with his kids and fucking, then you’re dating.”

“Well, I’m doing one out of the two,” I say nonchalantly, without looking up from a sample of wild fungus.

“You and Peeta aren’t having sex? Didn’t you tell me you spend every night over there?”

“I go there after work and help Bran with homework and then help Peeta with dinner. Sometimes I put Sage to bed because she’s been having nightmares. Peeta and I catch up on our days on the couch while watching whatever is on TV then I go home.”

“So no sex?” Johanna asks in disbelief.

I shake my head no in conformation. “Besides we just started this not too long ago, and it would be weird doing it with kids in the house.”

“Damn, I feel bad for Peeta. He’s gone over a year and a half without seeing any action. If I were you, I’d call up Fin and Annie and request a date night.”

XxX

I think of Johanna’s constant advice on the drive home. I laugh at myself because that’s the second time I’ve thought of Peeta’s tiny apartment above the bakery as my home. Though I do spend all of my time there, besides shower and sleep, it’s not my home. My own apartment isn’t my home either. At least it doesn’t feel like it.

When I park behind the Mellark van in the alleyway, I round the front of the building to the main entrance of the bakery to get Jack. Bran used to watch Jack while Peeta stayed downstairs, helping out in the bakery, but one day when Peeta called it a night and opened the front door, he found Jack got ahold of his special oil paints and decorated the walls. It wasn’t Bran’s fault; he shouldn’t have the responsibility of looking after both his younger sister and brother at such a young age himself. So Jack hangs out in the kitchen, at a little work table that Peeta set up for him in the corner.

Normally Peeta’s elbow deep in flour and dough when I walk through the employee’s only door into the kitchen, but he’s not there. Jack is and so is a lady named Sae, who works at the bakery.

“Where’s Peeta?” I ask her.

Sae looks up from the cookie down and smiles at me with her friendly smile. “He’s in his office, been in there for a while.”

“Let’s see if I can lure him out,” I tease and head into one of the backrooms that is labelled office.

I knock once before entering. Peeta’s sitting at his desk flipping through piles and piles of papers.

“Hey,” he smiles once he sees me come in.

“Whatcha doin’?” I ask as I enter further into the office. Much like the apartment above, Peeta’s office is littered with photos and drawings that the kids drew for him.

“Just going over some financial things,” he says as he stacks the papers together and places them into a bottom drawer.

“Anything bad?” I ask with concern as I slip in between him and the desk and slide on top of it.

Peeta shakes his head no. “Just the opposite, actually. The bakery is doing extremely well. I’m even thinking about expanding in the summer.”

“That’d be a great idea, Peeta!” I say excitedly.

“Glad you think that,” Peeta scoots closer to me in his rolling office chair and nuzzles my neck with his few day old scruff.

“I probably smell. Jo had me trampling through the swamps to get some damn mushrooms. I think she’s just going to eat them later.”

“I think you smell good, swamp suits you,” I feel Peeta grin before he starts the process of places kisses along my neck, up to my earlobe and down to above my pulse point.

I accidently let out a moan when Peeta uses his teeth to graze my heated skin. He pauses for a fraction of a second then tries it again, getting the same reaction from me.

“I think I’ve found something Miss. Everdeen,” Peeta murmurs into me before attacking the pleasure point on my neck with his lips.   

I let out a breathy gasp when Peeta sucks the patch of skin lightly into his mouth. I’ll no doubt have a mark there come tomorrow but I can’t bring myself to scold Peeta now. I secure my fingers into the hem of his worn jeans the moment he stands and pull him closer to me. I move my face to capture Peeta’s lips in a frenzy of a kiss. Our lip smacking together, tongues fighting for dominance, salvia being exchanged, but none of that moment in this moment. All that matters is getting closer, feeling more, _doing_ more. I crave all of it.

One of my hands travels underneath Peeta’s white tee shirt to feel his stomach. He’s not ripped but there is hard and solid muscle under the layer of soft skin I’m touching. My fingers on my other hand sink further into the hem of the front of his jeans, his very happy trail tickling my fingers. I draw him even further into me until his thighs are hitting the desk I’m sitting on. Once I wrap my legs around Peeta’s torso, he can’t go anywhere.

Peeta doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. His kisses are just as frantic and his hands are just as needy as mine. He wraps one hand around the base of my braid to hold my head firmly in place while the other one creeps up my bare thigh to wear the hem of my khaki shorts rests.

 I’m about to pop the button of Peeta’ jeans when a timid knock comes from the office door. Peeta literally flies away from me, swollen lips pink cheeks.

“Mr. Mellark, your interview is here,” Sae’s voice comes from the other side.

Peeta sighs, rubs his face before subtly trying to adjust himself in his pants. “If you want to shower to get your job off of you feel free to use mine, I have clothes in my top drawer that might fit you.  I’ll be up soon.”

We don’t kiss as I make my way out of his office. I couldn’t risk the chance of getting caught up in him again. It was easy to do. Peeta’s a great kisser. I sneak up on Jack and scoop him up from behind. He lets out a squeal before turning in my arms and giving me a hug.

“What did you do today?” I ask as we ascend the stairs together.

“I baked bread with daddy.”

“Did you eat it?”

“Yes!”

“Did you save me any?”

Jack laughed. “No.”

“Piggy.”

Jack bursts through the door making pig sounds, running into his bedroom to play with his superheroes. Sage is lying on her stomach on the couch facing the TV which was playing Brave. I called for Bran who announced his presence from his bedroom.

Bran was too lying on his stomach on his bed with a number two pencil in his teeth and a book and notebook in front of him.

“You’re home late,” Bran observes.

“I was downstairs talking to your dad about something. Need any help?” I take a seat next to him and absentmindedly begin to lightly scratch his back.

“You’re terrible at math,” I can hear Bran smirk.

“12 and the capitol had different curriculums, it’s not my fault.”

“I don’t need help, I’m almost done, but I’ve got to read to someone tonight. Can I read to you?” He looks back at me.

“Can’t wait.”

“What’s that?” Bran points to my neck.

I feel my face redden as my hand goes to cover the area where Peeta’s lips were not too long ago. “Uh, a bruise I got from work. Got hit with a tree branch. Your dad said I could use your shower, where are the towels?”

“Where they always are,” Bran says dumbly.

“Right.”

I ruffle Jack’s hair before going to the linen closet in the hallway next to the bathroom. I’ve been in this closet a million and a half times to get blankets or candles or paint supplies out, I should have known that the towels would be in here too.

This is the first time showering at Peeta’s despite me always being over here. I’m not in the woods as much as I’d like to be but that also means that I’m not dirty all the time, so I don’t have to rush home and shower. Coming over to Peeta’s after work has become such a routine that I forget all about needing to shower.

I slip into an old high school wrestling tee shirt and a pair of sweatpants. They are both too big for me but I’m far from complaining since they smell like Peeta and his scent is intoxicating. I decide to leave my hair down in hopes of covering the love mark that I’ve deemed a work accident and make my way into the living room. Peeta was already in the kitchen. I look around, Bran and Jack are in their room and Sage’s eyes are still glued to the television. I sneak up behind him, wrap my arms low on his hips and whisper in his ear, “Hi.”

Peeta jumped slightly. “I didn’t hear you,” Peeta tilted hi head to kiss my damp hair. “You smell like me.”

“I like it. I’m thinking about switching shampoos. What are you making?”

“I promised Bran that we’d have steak and potatoes tonight. Is that okay?”

“Perfect. Need any help?”

“I got it. You can sit and talk to me though.”

“Okay, how was your interview?”

“Good. It was just a formality since I knew that I’d already hire him.”

“Do I know who it is?”

Peeta looks back at me quizzically. “Gale hasn’t told you?”

“Told me what?”

“Vick’s been getting into trouble with the law. And Hazelle is up to her eyeballs in work to pay for Rory’s tuition so she doesn’t have the time to look after him like she should so Gale came to me and asked if I’d give Vick a job since Rue’s gone.”

“No he never mentioned that.”

“Yeah well I told Vick that I’d train him on Saturday so I have a really big favor to ask of you.”

“What is it?”

“Can you possibly take Bran to his soccer game? It could be just him; I’ll keep the other two in the back or something.”

“No, the kids love going to Bran’s game. I’ll take them all.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

Peeta gave me a slow smile before kissing me on the lips and whispers against them, “I think I’m going to keep you.”

“You better.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids go back to school and get everyone else's germs and I get sick because my immune systems seems to be on a permanent vacation. Good for you because I basically laid in bed and wrote this while watching Tom and Jerry with this kids, bad for me because being sick sucks.
> 
> I'm telling you things are about to happen quickly, hold on, shit is going to get real.

**Peeta:** Since you have to take Bran and the kids to his game early, maybe we should have our first sleep over?

I read over the text at least a dozen times. He wants me to stay over. Peeta wants me to sleep at his house with his kids. I wanted to but at the same time I didn’t want to send the wrong message. I’ve heard all of the talk about Peeta and my quick relationship. Madge texts me regularly about the things she’s heard from the vine and wants to know if they hold any truth. Most of them center around marriage and adopting Peeta’s kids or how I’ve become pregnant myself.

“What’s up No Butt?” Johanna takes off her reading glasses and puts them on top of her head.

“Isn’t it chicken butt?”

“Yeah but chickens have more of an ass than you do.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.

“Welcome, now what’s up?”

“Peeta wants me to stay over tonight because I’m taking the kids to Bran’s game on Saturday morning while Peeta trains Vick.”

“Sleep overs are always fun, if you know what I mean,” Johanna wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

 “It wouldn’t be like that. At least I don’t think. Oh my God, what if Peeta expects to have sex? I mean we’ve definitely been building up to it but I can’t have sex with his kids in the next room. At least not the first time I stay over there,” I ramble on sending myself into a panic.

“Chill, if you’re not ready just tell Peeta that. I mean he’s had blue balls for this long, what’s a little longer?”

“You’re not helping.”

“Seriously just tell him that you aren’t comfortable doing anything the first night staying there, assuming he wants you to stay over again.”

“You’re right. This is probably a one-time thing.”

Johanna gives me a breathy chuckle but doesn’t give me anymore advice. I send Peeta a conformation text before starting my work.

XxX

“Hey what took you so long?” Peeta asked when I walked into the apartment.

“I had to go to my place to get some things,” I say holding an oversized tote bag up for evidence.

“You can just put your stuff in my room.”

“I want Katniss sleeping with me!” Sage said bursting out of the hallway and barreled into the kitchen.

“Sage, we’ve talked about this. Katniss is my guest. Your guests don’t stay in my room; they stay in your room right?”

“Yes,” Sage mumbled sullenly.

“How about I sing to you before bed, we haven’t done that in a while?” The little girl with wild blonde curls beams up at me. I wish the world could be as simple as it is from the eyes of a four year old.

I drop my bag onto Peeta’s bed and head back to the kitchen but before I stop in the boys’ room. The door is cracked so I don’t knock; I just peek my head in to see Bran and Jack playing together. My heart hurts as it fills with too many happy emotions too quickly when I look at Bran. For only being eight, he has so much responsibility that has been thrust upon him and he deals with it so well. Bran has to practically raise his two younger siblings, just like I did with Prim. Though the difference between Bran and myself, I had no choice. It was either fight or die. With Bran, he could easily go out and do what normal boys his age do but instead he chooses to stay in a take much of the work load off of his father.

“Katniss!” Jack shouts when he sees me, forgetting all of his toys and jumping into my arms.

I have to quickly move the door out of the way to catch him but when I do I quickly kiss the top of his head. “Hey Jack, hi Bran. What are you guys doing?”

“Spiderman!” Jack crawls down my body like Spiderman would climb down a building and proceeds to pretend to shoot webbing out of his wrists around the room.

“Guess what,” Bran says as he busies himself with putting away Jack’s abandoned toys.

“What?”

“We had to read out loud from the book we read the other night and I read my paragraph so great I got a sticker on the board!”

“That’s so great, Bran.” I say genuinely happy.

“It’s only because you helped me. There were so many big words but I remembered that you made me sound them out and that’s what I did. Mrs. Purnia says that she might put me in the next reading group next week.”

“I can’t wait,” I smile.

XxX

Dinner is the same like every other night. Peeta talks about work, Bran says something he learned in school, Sage talks about one of her friends from class while continually pushing her hair out of her eyes, and Jack excitedly tells us about what he baked with Daddy in a garbled voice.  I talk about new findings in the forest. I’m not used to talking about my job with anyone other than Gale or Jo because people don’t find what I do interesting, or that important. But Peeta asks questions and remembers odd details of what I told him previously. The kids, but mostly Bran, love the science part of my job; the test tubes and microscopes. Sage loves the fact that I sometimes trampled around the woods like Brave, only without the bow, the bow only comes out on the occasional Sunday.

“So are you excited about me taking you to your game instead of your Dad?” I ask Bran as I slip Jack’s pajama top over his head.

Bran shrugs. “It’ll be like every other Saturday.”

“Yeah but this time it’s only going to be me. You won’t have your dad nervously standing at the sidelines waiting for you to break a bone.”

“Good, he can stop making everyone nervous,” Bran laughs.

I smile and kiss Jack on top of his head, tucking him into his bed. I cross the room and kiss Bran on top of his head as well.

“Okay, I’m going to go say good night to Sage. I’ll see you in the morning.”

I close the door behind me and immediately turn into the room next to it. Sage is already in bed with a plethora of stuffed animals surrounding her. She scoots over upon seeing me and I slide into the twin sized bed next to her.

“Have you said night to your Dad?”

“He’s gonna come say good night to me after putting Jack to bed.”

“Okay. Do you want to read a story or do you want me to sing to you?”

“Sing please,” she snuggled into my side making it hard for me to move once she’s fallen asleep.

“What song?”

“The meadow one.”

I smile; Deep in the Meadow was the first song I sang to Sage after having woken up from a nightmare. It has quickly become her favorite, just like it was Prim’s favorite and my favorite when my father sang to me.

I start singing softly into the little girl’s ear, the sweet and gentle melody lolling her sleep. I look up once the song is finished to find Peeta leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest, a lazy smile on his face.

It takes a moment but I finally free myself from Sage’s grasp and stand from the bed as Peeta bends over and kisses his daughter’s forehead and turning out the small lamp on the nightstand.

Peeta leads me by the hand to his bedroom. He doesn’t shut the door all the way, a good sign that he too isn’t ready for us to take the next step in our relationship. The cracked door doesn’t stop Peeta from cupping my face with both hands and kissing me deeply, pulling my body until it’s flushed with his.

“I love you,” he says breathlessly.

“What?” My eyes open wide in shock.

“I love you,” Peeta repeats himself.

“Peeta—“ I cut myself off because I don’t even know what I should say. “We don’t even know each other.”

Peeta shakes his head and quickly kisses me again. “We know each other well enough to know that I love you.”

“You don’t love me, Peeta.”

Peeta looks at me and for a minute I think he’s going to be mad, maybe start yelling, and force me to leave. But his facial expression changes and he gives me that same lazy smile that he was wearing watching me with Sage.

“My kids love you, you know? They talk about you all the time in the morning when we’re all getting ready. Sage and Jack are fighting about who you’ll play with or say hi to first, and God,” Peeta starts to give off a light chuckle. “Bran loves school so much. He hated school last year but this year it’s like he’s a different kid. I got a call from his teacher and she is so amazed about how fast he’s been learning how to read and he’s excelling in math. That’s because of you!”

“I don’t help Bran with his math,” I try to protest that it’s not me that is improving Bran’s school work, it’s simply just him.

“Yeah but you sit there and he explains it to you and you take interest,” Peeta explains. “My kids love you Katniss, and so do I. I love you because of how seamlessly you’ve woven yourself into our lives. I don’t think we could ever go back to how things were before and I never want to.”

Truthfully, I think Peeta is just excited that his kids have accepted me and he’s calling that excitement love. In all reality, just like a shiny new toy, I’m waiting for him to discover how boring and broken I really am and toss me aside. But I refuse to tell Peeta any of those thoughts.

“I don’t know what to say,” I shake my head.

“I’m not expecting you to say it back. I don’t even want you to say it back until you’re ready, that is if you’re ever ready. I just had to say that I love you because it feels right to me,” Peeta kisses me softly again before pulling away from me all together.

“I figured you wouldn’t mind sharing a bed but if you think that’s too soon then I’ll take the couch, I don’t mind.”

I shake my head. I don’t want Peeta sleeping on the couch; I want him sleeping with me in his bed. “You don’t need to sleep on the couch.”

Peeta smiles. “Okay, I’m going to go change and brush my teeth.”

I change into the tee shirt and sweatpants that Peeta lent to me. When Peeta returns, I excuse myself to brush my teeth and wash my face. When I return, Peeta is already in bed. He smiles at me as I round the bed and slide in next to him.

“I didn’t freak you out by telling you I love you did I? You’re not going to run?”

“A little freaked out but I’m not going to run,” I answer close to as honest as I can.

“Good because that would suck.”

“You make too good of cheese buns to run,” I joke.

“Well in that case,” Peeta pulls me into him so my back is pressed against his front. He wraps an arm round my waist and buries his face in the crook of my neck. His hot breath feels so good on my bare skin. “cheese buns just became what’s on the breakfast menu.”

XxX

I wake up the next morning to a weird sensation tickling my nose. I open one eye to see bright blue eyes and a mess of blonde hair staring back at me, only it’s not who I expect.

“Hey Jack, where’s Daddy?” I rub the sleep out of my eyes.

Jack glides the pillow feather across the tip of my nose and a wiggle it like a bunny rabbit causing him to giggle. “He’s baking.”

I turn to see the clock reads only a bit after five; I still have almost another two hours until I need to be up. I pull the covers back and let Jack curl in beside me. I wrap my arm around him protectively before kissing the top of his head. “Go back to sleep, Silly.”

“Okay,” he nuzzles into my chest.

“I love you,” I murmur without thought.

“Love you,” Jack mumbles back and I can’t help but smile.

XxX

“Way to go, Bran!” I shout from my seat on the sidelines. He just blocked the third attempt at a goal. Sage is perched on my lap watching the game with me while Jack is playing in the grass with his Spiderman toy at our feet.

I already had the chairs and small cooler by the time the game is over so I could listen in on what the coach had to talk to the players about. It’s something Peeta always did so I thought that it might be necessary.

“Peeta?” The coach said looking at hi clipboard briefly before looking up to see that he’s not here. “Bran, where’s your dad?”

“He’s not here.”

“Who’d you come with?”

Bran points at me. “Katniss.”

“Who are you?” The coach gave me a once over.

“Oh, I’m—uh,” I start to stutter.

“Don’t you know,” a kid from Bran’s team starts to shout. “That’s Bran’s mom! She and the baker are married and having a baby.”

“And where’d you hear that?” the coach asked.

“School,” the boy shrugged.

“Well apologies, Mrs. Mellark, can you tell your husband that it’s his turn to supply snacks for next Saturday’s game?”

“Will do.”

It’s awkwardly quiet on the way home. I know it’s from what Bran’s teammate said about me being his mom and marrying his dad and me being pregnant. I know that I need to address this, probably before leaving the vehicle; I’m just not sure how to approach this subject.

“So about what that kid said about me being your mom.” There, I just went out and said it. “Do you get that a lot?”

“Yeah,” Bran shrugged.

“And me getting married to your dad and having a baby?”

“They say that a lot too.”

“And how do you feel about it?”

Bran shrugged. “I don’t mind. You can be our mom if you want.”

I knit my brows together. “Would you want me to be your mom?”

Sage shouts an enthusiastic yes from the back seat of my Jeep and Jack mimics her.

“You’d be a better one than the other one I had,” Bran says sadly.

I take my eyes off the road for a moment to look at him. He so easily breaks my heart and makes it impossible to say no. “If that’s what you’d like,” I agree with him.

Bran gives me a toothy smile. “That means you and dad have to get married now.”

Sage gives a loud shriek of excitement and I try to return everyone’s enthusiasm with my own smile but I can’t help but to be panicking on the inside.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I completely lost interest in everything after experiencing a major panic attack brought on by an unknown source followed by a period of depression. Don't worry, I'm slowly trying to pull myself out of it and made myself write then rewrite and then rewrite again this chapter. It's not the best chapter but it does have a peak into Katniss and Peeta being naughty. So yeah, sorry for the delay and probably a shit ton of mistakes but I'm only human and Microsoft and rereading and only catch so much.  
> Love you.

I usher Bran, Sage, and Jack upstairs and get them situated before excusing myself down to the bakery to check on Vick and talk to Peeta. Sae is helping a customer pick out what bread would best work with the stew she was going to make for dinner. I find the two boys in the back, elbow deep in sticky dough just as I expected. Vick seemed to be doing a better job than I did when Peeta brought me to the back of the bakery to show me how things worked.

“Hey!” Peeta smiles when he looks up and sees me. “How’d it go?”

“We won. I expect Bran to go pro next year. How are you holding up Vick?”

“I didn’t know baking cookies and bread was this hard,” Vick said wiping the sweat off of his brow with the only clean part of forearm remaining.

“It’s easy once you pick up the rhythm,” Peeta says as a promise. “Where are the kids?”

“Oh, they’re upstairs. I just needed to talk to you privately for a moment, but if you’re busy, we can talk tonight.”

Peeta gave me a concerned look. “Sure, yeah okay.”

Peeta ran his hands under the running water and wiped his hands on the towel that was tucked into the waist band of his worn jeans. I let him lead us into his office and shut the door.

“What’s wrong?” Peeta gives me that dad look he gives one of the kids when they start crying.

“Honestly, I’m freaking out. This is going way to fast.”

“Wait, is this about last night because I just had to say it once but I won’t say it again until you’re ready.”

“No—yes—a little bit. A kid on the team said something about us being married and having a kid and me being Bran’s mom, because I’m assuming that gossip is now a class subject at school. But I asked Bran about it and he’s totally fine with people saying that. He told me that he’d be okay if I wanted to be his mom; Sage and Jack were okay with it too. This is all moving too fast!” I run my fingers through the top of my hair, efficiently messing up my braid. 

Fear flashes through Peeta’s eyes as he rushes towards me, “I’ll talk to Bran. I’ll let him know that that is not okay to say. He won’t talk about it again, I promise. You don’t have to spend so much time with them; I’m not expecting you too. I’ll hire a babysitter so we can have some alone time.”

I give a sigh and take a look around Peeta’s office to avoid looking at him directly in the eyes. I was just in here the other day but I didn’t take the time to see the homemade artwork that litters the walls. It’s changed since the first time I was in here. Where there were once drawings of three blonde children and an equally as blonde dad, there is now another girl in the mix. One with brown hair and gray eye, holding hands with the smallest boy in the drawing. I was already family.

“No, don’t say anything. It’s fine,” I tell him.

“No, it’s not. Not when you’re not comfortable with it.”

“But I’ll get used to it. I love your kids; I’d do anything for them. It’s just shocking.”

Peeta gave me one of his genuine smiles. “God you’re so perfect. Are you real?”

I laugh. “Yes Peeta, I’m real. But I’m far from real.”

“Doubtful. Come on, I’ll send Vick home and we can order some celebratory pizza.”

XxX

Johanna is her annoying, over invested self come Monday. She’s not very interested in work but instead wants to know every detail about how taking Bran to his soccer game went. I slipped about the mom ordeal and that led into a never ending list of questions about wedding colors and cakes flavors and if I should wear a ball or something to show off my nonexistent curves.

“Come on Kitty Kat, you’ve got the green light from the kids. It’s time to get wifed up!”

“One, don’t call me Kitty Kat, and two, nobody is getting wifed up.”

“Why not? Even with three kids, Peeta is still the biggest catch in all of Twelve. You need to get a ring on it and a certificate bound by blood before he realizes how dull you are and trades you in for someone with a full sized rack and a face not permanently painted in a scowl.”

“I don’t scowl,” I try my hardest to keep my face from contorting.

“Yeah okay,” Jo laughs. “But seriously, how’s it going?”

The smile I try to hide from her is all she needs for ammunition for more questions.

“I’ve been partially joking about this whole marriage, but damn, maybe I should really start planning!”

“We’re not getting married, Jo.”

“Okay,” she said sounding unconvinced. “What do his kids think about you?”

“They approve,” I say without divulging any information.

Johanna doesn’t say anything, so I make the mistake of looking up from my notes to see her serious, dark eyes boring into me.

“What?” I ask nervously.

“I have the power to fire you, you know?”

“Johanna! You can’t blackmail me with my job because I won’ tell you about my relationship with my boyfriend’s kids.”

“There’s been talk, you know?”

I roll my eyes. Of course I know. This town is so small and filled up with nosy old people that it’s hard for any secrets to be kept.

“They actually think you and the baker are getting hitched with a bun in the oven.”

“Well they’re wrong. Peeta and I have only slept together once, and it was very PG,” I add in quickly when Johanna’s eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets. “In fact, I woke up with a two year old in the bed.”

“Have you guys said the ‘L’ word to each other yet?”

“God, Jo! We barely know each other.”

“You keep saying that, but you spend all your time with him. How can you possibly not know him?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. Can we get back to work? I want to finish this today.”

XxX

I’ve got my head tucked against Peeta’s neck with my toe curled up underneath his sweatpants clad thigh. The kids have been asleep for thirty minutes and this is the time where I’m normally leaving, but I haven’t found the energy to get up yet. Peeta’s been trailing his fingers up and down my side underneath my tee shirt the moment we found ourselves in this position while we watch the news, and it’s doing funny things to my body. More than once I’ve wished to myself that Peeta’s hands would just dip below the waistline of my jeans and give me what my body is craving for.

To force the dirty thoughts from my mind I think back about today’s conversation with Johanna. I wasn’t expecting to make any friends when I first moved back, maybe build a stronger bond with Gale, but Jo is quickly filling that role of what a best girl friend is supposed to be, despite her also being my boss.

Johanna is right; I keep saying that Peeta and I don’t know each other. We do spend every day together. The only time I don’t see him or the kids is when I’m at work or at my own place sleeping. It’s not that I don’t know Peeta, I do. He loves the color of the orange; soft like the sunset, he double knots his shoe laces as well as Sage’s and Jack’s and it’s a pain to try to get their shoes off at the end of the day. Peeta also hates sweet tea and the only time I slept over he told me that he likes to sleep with the window open no matter how hot or cold it gets outside. When he’s not busy baking, or taking care of his kids, Peeta likes to paint, but most of the time he settles for doodling on scrap pieces of paper that the kids’ have left lying around.

I noticed that I actually do know a lot of things about Peeta; simple random facts that most people wouldn’t know. I also noticed that though I may know Peeta, he doesn’t know me as well. Subconsciously I’ve built a wall between us to prevent myself from getting hurt later down the line, but I already know that if this were to end, I’d end up getting hurt anyways.

“I had a pet goat when I lived in the Capitol,” I whisper the first thought about myself that popped into my head.

“A goat?”

“Well, it was actually Prim’s, but I bought it for her for her birthday. I had been working odd jobs to help pay for some of my mom’s bills but I set aside some money to buy Prim a present. Despite living in the capitol, we were actually pretty poor and money was never spent on frivolous things such as gifts. But Prim got into the trend of putting ribbons in her hair because all of the girls at school would wear ribbons woven throughout their hair, so I was going to get her some, and on my way there I walked past this butcher shop and this old man was about to shoot this goat that was just lying there. I remember shouting at him to stop and he explained that it was sick so he had to kill it so it wouldn’t infect the other goats.

I offered him some money and he accepted it without even thinking and I bought a pink ribbon to tie around her neck and then I started thinking about how I just spent my last dollar on a goat that was going to die, but it was worth it when I saw the look on Prim’s face. And of course I should have known that she could heal the goat back to health. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, seeing her so happy.”

“Prim is extremely lucky to have you.”

“I feel guilty about moving back here and leaving her.”

“You didn’t leave her, she went off to college.”

“Still, if I lived in the Capitol, I would be making more of an effort to see her.”

“That’s my fault,” Peeta says guiltily.

“How is it your fault?”

“I take up all of your time. If you’re not here, you’re at work or you’re asleep at your place. If you want some time to yourself, just say the word. I’ve gotten in the habit of just assuming you’re going to be here and I haven’t even thought about if you wanted to be here.”

“Peeta,” I smile up at him. “If I didn’t want to be down here, I wouldn’t be.”

Peeta’s lips touch mine and we enter a slow and sensual kiss. Despite our relationship being new, it feels like we’ve been together for years and years, expect for the kisses. We haven’t been alone together long enough to experience each other the way we both want to. So when these nights where I do stay later and we find ourselves making out on the couch, it still feels like the very first time. Nervous kisses and caresses followed by growing encouragement.

I move to straddle Peeta’s waist for easier access to his lips. My fingers slip through his muss of blonde curls, pulling lightly, enticing a groan from the back up Peeta’s throat to erupt past his lips. I do it again in a way of teasing him and Peeta responds by biting down on my bottom lip lightly but enough to make me gasp and send a shock of electricity straight to my core.

Peeta’s hands have been pretty tame throughout our make out session; continuing to run his fingertips delicately up and down my sides. He begins to venture further up until his thumbs swipe along the satin covered underwire of my bra. I’ve never wanted an article of clothing off so bad in my life. I encourage Peeta by moving his hand to cup my breast fully. He chuckles but doesn’t pull away, instead flexing his fingers slightly, massaging me. Peeta’s lips dip down my neck and immediately go for that sensitive bit of flesh and sucks harder than I expected making me give out of rather loud moan.

I’ve been hovering over Peeta’s waist, using my knees to support me in tempts to make it more comfortable for Peeta. But that all went out the window the moment he gripped my ass with both hands and bringing me down so I could feel his excitement through both of our jeans. We let out a mutual groan as I shyly begin to grind my hips back and forth. The pressure of his arousal and the friction of the seam on my jeans are hitting me just right. I tip my head back, leaving a better access to my neck for Peeta to kiss.

“Katniss,” Peeta grunts hotly. “I need you.”

Those three words are music to my ears because I need him too. It no longer matters that kids are just a few feet away, sleeping in their own bedrooms. All that matters at this moment is Peeta and what’s been locked and hidden away in his pants.

Peeta gently pushes me down on the bed the moment his bedroom door is shut and slides on top of me.

“You’re okay with this?” Peeta asks before kissing me again.

“Yes Peeta,” I respond in a breathless voice. I am so okay with this.

Peeta’s shirt disappears as well as mine. His lips trace the outline of top of my bra softly before using one finger to pull down the cup to push up my breast. He does it more quickly to the other breast and my nipples harden into stiff peaks. Peeta doesn’t take long to draw one into mouth and lave it with the flat of his tongue.

“They’re prefect,” Peeta says huskily, referring to my breasts.

“I think they’re too small,” I say without thinking.

Peeta stops giving my breasts attention and looks down at me. Even in the dark his eyes are still bright. “No, your breasts are prefect, just the right size.”

I smile as Peeta returns his attention to my body, trailing hot kisses down my stomach and around my belly button. He pops the button on my jeans as he returns to kiss my lips.

“Daddy?”

Peeta and I immediately freeze and look towards the door where Jack was standing groggily, clutching his blanket in one fist and rubbing his sleepy eyes with the other.

“Uh, yeah little man?” Peeta chokes out.

“Monser in my yed. Sleep with you?”

“Not tonight, bud. Go back to bed and I’ll be in in a second, okay?”

“But,” Jack starts to whimper.

“I’ll be right there, it’s okay.”

Jack turned back around and headed back down the hallway, sniffling back tears.

Realization struck me at that moment. I’m in bed without a shirt, breasts popped out of my bra, pants unbuttoned, with Peeta’s erection still digging into my leg. “Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.” I repeat.

“It’s okay, it’s dark. He didn’t see anything,” tries to reassure me.

“This time!” I nearly shout. “What if it was Sage or heaven forbid Bran? What if we were still on the couch where it’s light out?”

“Katniss calm down. It embarrassed me too, but it wasn’t Bran or Sage and it wasn’t in the living room. We’ll just be careful next time. There will be a next time right?”

Despite wanting to vow right then and there that Peeta and I will never have sex in fear that someone will see, I remember the feeling of his lips on me and can’t help but be excited for the next time we get carried away. But only if the kids are not home.

“Get a babysitter and we’ll talk about it,” I grumble.

“Finnick and Annie will be needing practice on being parents,” I can hear the smile in Peeta’s voice.

“Good, now go tend to your kid.”

“Uh, can you do it? I’m still a little…” Peeta motioned to his groin region.

“How can you possibly still be hard with your youngest child coming in and finding us in that position? My libido has been shot down completely.”

“What can I say? I have the most beautiful woman almost naked in my bed,” Peeta kisses me innocently before I flung the covers back and got out of bed.

“Thank you; there are clothes in my drawer.”

  “Why do I need clothes?”

“To sleep in?”

“Peeta, I can’t stay over. We both have work in the morning.”

“Katniss, it’s late. Just stay the night and you can get up with me in the morning and leave then.” I stare at Peeta angrily but it’s dark so he probably cannot see. “I’m not letting you leave, it’s late.”

“Fine,” I grumble as I yank one of his drawers open that contain his sweatpants and pull my pants off and slide his on. I find his shirt that he was wearing before he threw it off in haste and put that on as well.

Just as I’m about to exit Peeta room he calls for me. “What?” I ask.

“I love you.”

I smile and almost say it back. _Almost._


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly thank guys so much for the kind words, it's truly what made me write and post this chapter so quickly. And with that being said, if any of you guys are suffering from depression or anxiety like myself, I highly encourage you to talk to someone or talk to me, because I would love to try and help you out.  
> This chapter is rated mature, for sexy reasons. Hopefully I'm not too terrible at writing smut.

I still haven't been able to look Jack directly in the eyes after Monday night. The rational part of me knows that it was dark and he saw nothing other than a large mass of two body underneath the sheets. But the winning, unrealistic side of me is convinced that his eyes adjusted to the black on the walk from his room to Peeta's and he's going to tell Bran that he saw Daddy lying on top of me while kissing and they didn't have tops on. And Bran being smarter than the average eight year old is going to know exactly what we were doing. And even worse I'm afraid that Bran will think less of me or stop approving of his father and my relationship. Or, oh God, not want me to be his mom anymore.

I make the mistake and visibly cringe which Johanna notices right away. She knew from the moment I walked through the laboratory doors that something was wrong.

"Spit it out, Everdeen," she commands.

"Spit what out?"

"Whatever the fuck is wrong with you."

"Nothing is wrong with me."

My acting skills are obviously worse than I thought they were because Johanna gives me a look that tells me she's not exactly buying it.

"It's not healthy to keep emotions bottled up the way you do and as your replacement best friend while Prim is away at school, I demand you tell me what's going on."

I huff and I puff but eventually I tell her. "Peeta and I almost had sex last night but Jack walked in in us and now I'm afraid that he seen something is is going to tell Bran and then Bran is going to hate me. And I stayed the night last night and was planning to leave before the kids got up but of course they caught me and Sage was mad that I didn't tell her we were having a sleepover so I promised that I'd sleep over again tonight. And Peeta is just so relaxed about everything and knows that Jack didn't see anything but fuck, I'd feel a little better if he showed the slight bit of nervousness, because I'm freaking out!" I spit out all at once.

Johanna is silent for a few long moments before doubling over suddenly and giving out a loud and offensive laugh. "You're a hoot."

"This is serious. What if Jack really does tell Bran and then Bran decides that I'm not good enough for his father because we got caught in the act and I'm kicked to the curb?"

"Jesus, settle down. I wasn't even there but I highly doubt that Jack saw anything and if he did, he wouldn't know what he saw. If he does on the offhand chance babble to Bran that Daddy and new Mommy were kissing in bed together, then just talk to Bran."

"I just want to be good enough," I grumble to myself but Johanna hears it.

"You are good, Kitty Kat. You are honestly the best thing that has ever happened to Peet and those kids. I know that I joke around about you two getting married and stuff and being the kids new mother but I honestly think that. I know this is still so new but who cares, you're obviously a perfect match for each other."

It's hard to mask the surprised look on my face when Johanna Mason actually said something meaningful, sincere, and nice for once in her life. "Really think so?"

"Oh course. And I have too much invested in the pair of you so don't fuck it up." And there she goes, back to her regular crass self.

"What makes you think I'll fuck it up?"

"Please, Peeta's as close to perfect as it gets. He's not going to fuck up."

 

XxX

 

Peeta has been extremely hands off much to my pleasure. He knows that there is no way I'd kiss him again in front of the kids anytime soon, though we have really shown any PDA in front of them as it is. But now I'm taking extra precautions.

But with so little contact over this week, especially with staying the night again on Tuesday, my body has been craving attention. The preview of what might happen in the future was enough to send my body in overdrive. It's like my body is a radar and it's honed in into Peeta whenever he is near by, causing me to lose all train of thought at images of Monday night play through my head on a continuous reel.

"Pack a bag for the weekend," Peeta said as he wrapped his arms around me from behind as I do the dinner dishes.

My body stills and my breathing accelerate. This is the first actual contact in four days. There is nothing more that I want to do than push my back against his front and force his lips to my neck. But the kids are in the living room watching some TV show so I can't.

"Why?"

"I asked my parents to take the kids for the weekend so starting tomorrow it'll be just you and me."

"What about Bran's game in Saturday?"

"He's alright with missing one game. I promised to do anything he wanted."

"Peeta," I sigh. "I can't have Bran resenting me for making him miss a game. He loves playing soccer."

"Trust me, Bran doesn't resent you. He loves you. Sage and Jack love you. We all love you, Katniss. Now make sure you pack a bag because the moment you come back here after work tomorrow, you’re mine for forty-eight hours."

XxX

By Friday afternoon, I was such a ball of emotions that Johanna actually sent me home. I tried to protest but she had found out from the grape vine that the kids wouldn’t be home until late Sunday afternoon and became adamant that I leave to get to spend as much time with Peeta as possible. As long as I fill her in with the juicy details, of course.

Peeta would still be working at the bakery so I briefly thought about heading back to my place for the time being but quickly thought against because I didn’t want to waste any unneeded time spent driving from one place to another.

I pull my Jeep behind the bakery van and head for the front. Vick is behind the front counter reading some sort of sports magazine.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at school?” I ask once he looks up to see who has come in.

“Work permit,” Vick says simply without further explanation. “Peeta’s in his office.”

I knock once before entering the small room. Peeta’s got his reading glasses perched on the bridge of his nose and he reads the paper in his hand. He sees me standing by the closed door and confusion forms on his face immediately.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” That’s not what I expected to hear exactly.

“Oh, I can go…” I say with a nervous but bitter tone.

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just you don’t get off work for another few hours and I was planning on surprising you with dinner and a clean house.”

“Oh,” I sigh with relief. “I don’t need surprise dinners or a clean house. If you want I can go up and start something. I was going to do that but I thought I’d come say hello.”

Peeta shakes his head. “I’m done early. I was just going to finish paying this bill then head up.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you up there shortly then.”

Just as I’m about to shut the door all the way Peeta calls my name and I’m poking my head through the crack. “Yeah?”

He gives me the ‘come here’ motion with his pointer finger with a delicious smile on his face. I smirk and shut the door behind me as I saunter over to Peeta mahogany desk until I’m directly in front of him.

I lean down just enough for one of Peeta’s hand to cup my chin and pull me the rest of the way to meet his lips. I’m sure the kiss was supposed to be a sweet and innocent one but that isn’t the kind of mood I’m in. I find myself straddling Peeta’s thighs, sinking onto his lap, and further deepening the kiss with as much fire and lust as I can muster.

Once we’re breathless, I pull away only slightly so our lips still brush together. “No fancy dinners, just me and you, okay?”

“We’ll order take out,” Peeta leaned down to trail his lips across my neck.

“Or we can skip dinner. I’m only hungry for one thing and it’s not food,” I whisper. What is Peeta doing to me?

“I like the way you think.”

XxX

Peeta ended up making me wait and eat dinner, much to my dismay. I’m hot and bothered and want nothing more than to have him take me on the kitchen counter. But Peeta seems to be completely unaffected by all this. He even stopped me trying to progress this night faster than what it’s been going to have us eat. How can anyone think about food at a time like this? I love eating, especially if it’s something Peeta has made, but even I cannot stop thinking about ripping Peeta’s jeans off and sticking my hand down the front of Peeta’s boxers.

“Katniss,” Peeta interrupts my naughty thoughts.

“What?”

“You were staring.”

I pout my lips the way Sage would when she’s upset over something. “You promised that we could skip dinner.”

“You need to eat. Food creates energy and we will be needing it this weekend,” he smirked.

“I’m full,” I protest further by pushing my plate away from me.

Peeta shakes his head and laughs lightly but gets up and collects our plates and deposits them into the sink nonetheless. He walks slowly to me until he stands directly in front of me and I have to crane my neck back so I can see Peeta’s face properly.

I let out a light gasp when I see how lust-filled his eyes are. He’s just as affected by me as I am of him. I lose all thought and forget how to form words as Peeta continues to stare down at me. I shut my eyes and it’s almost as if he’s actually touching me. I can feel my skin prickle with every place he looks.

“Katniss,” he whispers right into my ear. I let out a pathetic moan at his hot breath against my neck. “You know what you do to me? How hard it’s been to contain myself, especially this week? Do you want to know how many times I’ve gone to bed hard at just the thought of you? Too many nights, Katniss, too many.”

I moan again as Peeta’s lips find mine but whimper when he pulls away way too quickly. He grabs my hand and pulls me to his bedroom and closing the door. I almost say something about locking it but it’s not needed since we’re the only ones here.

Peeta, who’s been extremely patient on tonight’s events, wastes no time with yanking my tee shirt over and off of my bed before my back hits the middle of the bed. I watch as he stripes his work shirt off, muscles rippling with fluid each movement. We’re back into contact seconds later, all lips, and tongues, and hands, and animalistic noises that get lost in the still air around us.

Peeta moves his hand behind me and unhooks my bra with surprising ease.

“Perfect,” I hear him mutter as he stares down at my breasts and I have to fight the urge to cover myself.

Peeta’s lips descend on one of my puckered nipples and he flicks it lightly with the very tip of his lips. I arch my back in tempts to press more of myself into him, wanting so badly to tell him that I do not need any foreplay and that I wouldn’t mind if we skipped the act in its entirety but I’m still having troubling forming actual words. So I try to convey what I want by sliding my hand down his soft chest, stopping shortly to feel the light smattering of pale blonde chest hair, then continuing my way to the buckle of his belt. It’s hard to undo it with only a single hand but I somehow manage. I bypass popping the button of his jeans altogether and try to stick my hand directly down the front of Peeta’s pants but his hand latches onto my wrists and stops me.

“No,” he says against the skin of my breast.

“No?” I question him.

He nods his head. “As much as I’d love it if you touch me right now, you can’t. I’m already not going to last long enough without your tempting hands.”

“It’s fine. We’ll just do it again.”

“We’re not going to have sex the first time without you coming before me. I’m a gentleman.”

“I really don’t care,” I protest by going for his pants again.

“Katniss, I love you and your enthusiasm, but I need to focus on you right now. Lay back and let me pleasure you, okay?”

“Fine,” my hand recedes back up to his hair as Peeta’s main focus becomes my own pants.

Peeta kisses along the edge of my worn and tattered jeans where olive skin meets offensive material before slowly undoing my pants and sliding them down my thighs. And once my jeans are off he spreads my legs and lies between them, dragging his lips and scruffy cheeks up the skin of my inner thigh, effectively setting my entire body on fire.

I hear him breathe in deep as his nose reaches the apex of my thighs. “Fuck, you smell so good.”

It should be illegal to do what Peeta’s currently doing. Actually it is, because what he’s doing is certainly classified as torture. Kissing the edge of my panty line just as he did with my jeans with the occasional flick of his tongue against my skin. I wiggle around trying to get him to touch me _there_ and only sometimes will he comply and kiss me through my soaked panties but as always goes back to the sweet torture.

“Peeta,” I pant, no longer able to handle the buildup. “Please.”

I felt his smirk against my leg but I didn’t care because he gave in and the last of my clothing is finally off and Peeta’s mouth is descending on me. I give an unhuman moan as Peeta spreads my lips and flicks the small bundle of nerves with his tongue before latching his mouth onto me and sucking hard. I’m not sure whether to yank Peeta by the hair and pull him away from me because of how turned on he’s gotten me or pull him in further so he can finish me off. I don’t have a chance before pressure begins to build between my legs and releases.

“That’s one climax,” Peeta smiles up to me with a shiny chin and lips. “Want to see how many I can get you to have before you orgasm?”

“No, I want you to fuck me.”

“Ms. Everdeen I’m beginning to think you don’t know what the meaning of patience is,” Peeta laugh before sinking a finger into me tantalizingly slow. “You’re giving Niagara Falls a run for its money with how wet you are.”

I’d normally be embarrassed by someone telling me that but I’m too horny and worked up that I can’t even think about caring about anything at this moment other than completion.

I feel one finger pump in and out of me slowly to open me further and relax my muscles before Peeta adds another finger and adds his mouth back into the equation. He’s doing something with his fingers and his tongue and it’s enough to bring me right to the edge again. I tumble into climax number two as Peeta applies the slightest of pressure against my clit and hums softly.

I shout. “Fuck,” the wave crashes but it’s not enough to be completely sated, but I want more.  “Peeta, please.”

I can tell by the lazy smile that Peeta gives me that, that he’s taking pity on me and giving me what I want. Finally he unbuttons those damned jeans and slides them past his hips along with black boxers, leaving me staring at the perfect example of man, all hard, and throbbing, and waiting for me.

I’m glad Peeta is of sound mind and body and remembers to grab a condom from his bedside table because forgotten about protection a long time ago. I watch as Peeta slides the prophylactic over himself before he looks up to me and makes eye contact.

“Ready?” he asks and I nod enthusiastically.

I kiss him softly as we join as one and we break to let out low moans. My eyes roll into the back of my head as Peeta pushes in and then pulls out, tilting my pelvis just so to make sure he hits that spot deep inside me that makes me hear angels sing.

“I’m really not going to last long,” Peeta pants while he snakes his hand between us to rub my clit in fierce, tight circles.

Neither am I but again words fail me as that pressure that I’ve felt twice before starts to spread from my loins to my extremities. My toes curl and my hands fly to grasp onto Peeta’s wide shoulders, digging my nails into his skin to make sure I don’t rocket out to space from the amount of force building.

“Come on baby, come for me Katniss.”

I do. My body rips apart as I give off a guttural scream and white stars fill my vision. I can’t breathe, the oxygen is locked somewhere inside my lungs that I’m not sure how to get working again. The only thing I’m aware of is Peeta continuing to work in and out of me, prolonging my orgasm, until finally he gives off a short series of grunts and collapses on top of me.

When Peeta rolls off of me, the cold air attacks my sweaty skin but I’m too weak to pull the covers around me.

“How was that?” Peeta breathes heavily.

I give off a pathetic attempt as a laugh and find enough motivation to roll onto my side to face him. I flash an eat shit grin and mumble, “can’t feel my legs.”

“I was leg numbingly good, eh?”

“Don’t get cocky,” I laugh. “But yes. I went to the moon and came back with numb legs.”

“Next time, we’ll aim for the sun.” If I wasn’t so utterly tired, I’m sure I would have jumped on top of Peeta ready for found two.

We’re quiet for a long time. At some point I’m sure that I’ve fallen asleep, but I’m up now and can’t stop looking at the way the moon highlights some of Peeta’s long eyelashes. I know that he’s awake too because his breathing isn’t as even as it normally is while sleeping.

“Peeta,” I whisper and his eyes immediately open. “I love you, too.”

One of the corners of Peeta’s lips came up. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I confirm.

Peeta pulls me into him and it feels so good to be pressed up to his naked form. It feels right that we’re together at this moment and I never want to leave.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited this really late last night so I'm sorry if I missed some mistakes.   
> I appreciate all of the positive feedback, I love you all!

I wake up to a surprisingly cold bed with the bed sheets tangled around my naked legs. Despite feeling a tad lonely, I grin at what happened last night. Memories of the things Peeta did with his tongue, sending me higher and higher with each small climax until I’m standing on the tip of the crescent moon about to plummet head first into a mind and body numbing orgasm.

I’ve had sex before and I’m familiar with orgasms but last night was something else. It wasn’t just because it felt good but it also felt right. It felt right being with Peeta, connecting as one and giving ourselves to each other completely. I haven’t experienced anything like that feeling in my life before. It’s both thrilling and terrifying. But I guess that is what love is. Oh my God, I actually told Peeta that I loved him last night.

I slip out of bed and find Peeta’s shirt that he was wearing last night and slip it over my head then go out to search for the man who made me wake up alone.

I find him in the kitchen of course, in nothing but his boxers with his back turned towards me. I watch for a moment as his muscles flex and relax under the soft flesh as he moves about mechanically. I sneak up behind, something that’s not hard to do, and wrap my slim arms around Peeta’s torso.

Peeta only jumps slightly but then relaxes into my touch.

“I woke up all alone, how is that supposed to make a girl feel after such a great night?” I smirk

“My apologies, will breakfast rectify my foolishness?”

I laugh. “I certainly think I can forgive you.”

I place a kiss in between Peeta’s shoulder blades and start to move away from him when he catches one of my hands and twirls me around him. Peeta stares at my lips briefly before his eyes flit up to meet mine.

“Can I tell you I love you, or was last night a slip of judgment?”

“You can tell me,” I do not recognize my own voice. It’s too hoarse and thick with want.

“I love you, Katniss Everdeen.”

XxX

To say that Peeta and I did much of anything outside of the house would be a lie. To say that we kept our activities to the confines of his bedroom would also be a lie, though we always ended up there because that’s where the contraceptives are located. To say that forgoing them in order to get to the act quicker only crossed my mind once would also be a lie.

“I should go on the pill,” I tell Peeta moments after we’ve caught our breath from another round of romping.

“It’s fine. I don’t mind condoms,” Peeta says dismissively.

I quirk my eyebrow up at him. Since when do guys not mind using condoms over having me take the pill? “It would make more sense. I mean, the kids aren’t going to go to your parents every time we want to have sex, I’m going to have to come with terms of doing while they’re sleeping, or busy doing other things. It would be faster if we didn’t have to worry about condoms. And it’s not practical to use a condom while in the shower, and I’m thinking that that’s going to be the safest way to go for no kids walking in on us.”

Peeta lies quietly on his back, chewing on his bottom lip and staring up at the ceiling. Eventually he sighs. “Delly got on the pill when we started having sex but she was awful at taking it, saying that it made her fat. I didn’t know that she just stopped taking it completely until I found out she was pregnant. She even tried to blame the whole thing on me, too. She said that I stopped wanting to have sex because she gained weight, honestly I didn’t even notice.”

“How about we use both? I’ll take the pill religiously; I’ll even get the shot so I don’t have to worry about forgetting. And we’ll still use condoms to be extra cautious but if the moment arises and we don’t have condoms, we’ll know that we’re covered.”

“You’re perfect.”

Peeta rolls back on top of me and I’m well aware that he’s ready for another round.

XxX

I stay up in Peeta’s house while he goes down and greets his parents and the kids. I remember his mother vaguely, but it’s enough to know that she wasn’t fond of me or my mother when we still lived here. It’s not like I ever did anything to make her mumble ‘seam trash’ to me whenever I’d go to the bakery with my father.

The door bursts open and Jack is the first one through followed by Sage and lastly Bran as they barrel towards me.

“Mama!” Jack shouts. It’s the first time he’s ever called me that and it takes me by surprise.

“What did Jack just call her?” I hear a voice by the door.

I look up from the blonde cherub in my lap to meet the eyes of Peeta’s mother; older than I remember but no less evil looking.

“Uh, this is Katniss. My girlfriend. Katniss this is my parents; Maureen and Ezekiel.”

I rise from the sofa with Jack on my hip and Sage holding onto my leg to shake Peeta’s parents hands.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Mellark. Are you staying for dinner?”

“You can call me Zeek, dear. What is Peeta planning on making?”

“We were planning on Pumpkin soup and grousling,” Peeta announces.

“We already have plans for dinner tonight,” Maureen scoffs.

“Maureen, we barely see our sons. Besides I want to get to know you better, Katniss. What do you do?”

Zeek works his way further into the living room and takes a seat next to where I was just sitting. I follow his actions and place Jack onto the floor before Sage climbs onto my lap to give me a large hug.

“I’m a lab assistant at the National Park. I work to help preserve the plants and wildlife while trying to come up with ways to integrate new species without harming the already existing ecosystem.”

“But of course you just assist and you don’t actually do the intergrading,” Maureen speaks.

“Actually the assistants do most of the work, whether it’s in the lab or out in the field. So I do think that it’s the assistant that do most of the intergrading,” I say bitterly.

“Hey, why don’t you pick out a movie to watch Sagie?” Peeta breaks up the awkward silence.

We all sit in silence as we watch a four year old pick out her favorite movie and work the DVD player flawlessly. Maureen scoffs when she sees that it’s Brave, muttering that Peeta is turning his kids brains into mush. I hold back the comment I want to make just barely before excusing myself to go help Peeta start dinner.

“Sorry,” he whispers into my hair as he kisses my head.

“Your mother doesn’t like me,” I say back.

“She doesn’t even like me, so don’t feel too bad. I think the only time I’ve heard her say something positive to me was when we found out that Sage would be a girl. She always wanted a daughter. But of course even that was Delly’s doing.”

I kiss Peeta on the lips and hear another scoff from the living room and smirk.

XxX

Dinner was filled the glares and long periods of silence. Maureen and I don’t acknowledge each other’s presence, and it’s created a shift the in atmosphere. I catch Peeta giving me a look that makes me feel bad momentarily. Just long enough until she starts talking to me, about Delly.

“I’m still in touch with her, of course. She’s been doing a lot with her life, ever since the dreadful divorce Peeta forced on her. How he could tear his family apart, I’ll never be sure. Delly still loves you deeply, dear.”

Peeta’s grip tightens around his spoon before he puts it back into the bowl. “Mother, I’d appreciate it if you’d refrain yourself from talking about her in front of the kids and Katniss. It is not fair to either of them.”

“What do you mean not fair? What’s not fair is that you took her kids away from her and they’re now calling this trash their mother!”

Peeta slams his fist down on the table making our dinnerware rattle and Jack’s lip starts to quiver. Bran doesn’t waste a second before he’s pushing his chair back and taking Jack from his chair and motioning for Sage to follow him back into his room where he closes the door. Peeta barely even notices the fact that his kids are now in the other room as him and his mother engage in a staring contest.

“Delly made her choices to leave, whether you choose to believe that or not, it’s the truth. I did not take the kids away from their mother nor did I encourage them to call Katniss mom. That was their decision. Bran, Sage, and Jack. But I can’t say that I don’t like it because I love that they love Katniss as much as I do. It’ll make it a lot easier when we decide to move forward.”

“Move forward? You mean marriage? I won’t stand for it.”

“That’s fine; it’s not your life. These are not your kids. You’ve already fucked up three of your own; you don’t need to screw up mine.”

“Ezekiel, we’re leaving!” Maureen stands from the table abruptly, knocking her chair over and storming out the door.

“Sorry about all of this Katniss. It really was a pleasure meeting you,” Zeek tells me sincerely before following his wife out of the door.

Peeta doesn’t say anything as he stares at his cold soup. He’s breathing deeply and I know that he’s trying to calm himself down. I reach out and place my hand on top of his and it seems to instantly snap him out of whatever trance he was trapped in.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. She shouldn’t have talked about Delly in front of you, or the kids.”

“Delly is their mother, she’s going to be brought up from time to time.”

“She shouldn’t. She made the choice to walk out of these kids’ lives. I haven’t heard from her in two years. Jack doesn’t even know who she is and to Sage she’s just a blurry memory. If the kids want you to be their mom, I’m not going to stop it, because honestly I want nothing more than for us to be a family.”

“For us to be married,” I say with a foreign taste in my mouth.

“I know it’s fast, but that’s what I want. Eventually.”

I’m not going to lie; the idea of marriage and kids is scary to me. I never wanted either of them. But I want Peeta and Peeta comes with three kids that have wiggled themselves into my life so seamlessly that the idea of marriage doesn’t make me go running for the hills like I know it should.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moving forward. Moving fast.  
> All mistakes are mine.

It’s scary how quickly Peeta and I have choreographed a routine. How quickly going from agreeing to sleep over one night to practically being at Peeta’s twenty-four seven. Peeta wakes up before me to get things stared in the bakery while I sleep for another hour or so before getting up myself and getting breakfast started. Jack wakes up before Bran and Sage do and I help him set the table then he wakes his siblings. From there the kids eat while I rush through my shower and dress and braid my hair in a French braid down my back before returning my attention back to the kids and help them with their own clothes before we’re out the door.

Instead of Peeta taking Bran to school and Sage and Jack to preschool, I do it before heading off to work myself. Peeta picks everyone up on his lunch break though and brings them back to the bakery where they wait for me to get home to start dinner and help with homework. It’s a rhythm that we’ve picked up and now I can’t even fathom doing something different.

“I need to go back to the apartment,” I murmur against Peeta’s chest.

I don’t need to see Peeta in order to know the face that he’s making. Our first fight, or argument, was over me moving in or not. Peeta didn’t why I refused to move in because I already spend majority of my time with him and the kids above the bakery. I refused for a few reasons; the one I voiced was that the apartment above the bakery can barely house four people, let alone five. The one that I kept to myself that all things come to an end, and despite loving Peeta and the kids with everything I have, there is this nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me I’m going to get hurt.

“I have laundry I need to do,” I explain.

“You can do laundry here,” Peeta grumbled.

“We’ve talked about this. I can’t move in. We’d get sick of each other.”

“We’re with each other every spare minute. Nothing would change if you just moved your stuff in here and got out of your lease.”

“Yes, but my apartment is there in case we need time away from each other.”

“If you needed time away from me, I’d go down to the bakery. Problem solved,” he retorted.

I sigh. “My things wouldn’t fit here.”

“We’ll have a yard sale.”

I roll my eyes and get off the couch. I don’t respond to Peeta as I go say goodbye to the kids and tell them that I’ll see them tomorrow. I return to the living room and Peeta still sitting on the couch with his arms crossed over his chest. I give another sigh and bend to give him a kiss, which he doesn’t reply.

“I love you. See you tomorrow morning.”

XxX

I hate my apartment. It’s not warm, or smells like Peeta and bread, there are no colorful paintings on the walls, and I can’t hear the shouts of an argument or singing of a Disney Princess. It’s all too still and unwelcoming. I hate it. I think about just packing up all the things I’d really need, which isn’t much, and saying good riddance to the place and head back to Peeta’s. But I don’t. I made a point and I’m sticking to it. Plus that nagging feeling boils up every time I even consider it.

XxX

Saturday’s are a peaceful time in the Mellark household. Peeta isn’t technically scheduled to work, but that doesn’t stop him from putting in a few hours before settling down with the kids and I. We used to go to the park but it’s too cold for the kids to spend long hours at a time outside, so recently we’ve just been lounging around the house.

Peeta isn’t down at the bakery like I expected him to be when I returned back to the apartment on Saturday morning. Instead he’s sitting in the kitchen dressed in a smart button-up, plaid top and nice jeans that aren’t caked in bread flour or frosting. I notice that Finnick is with him and judging by the purse on the island, Annie is somewhere.

“Katniss!” Finnick greets me with a kiss on the cheek. “I’d have a bone to pick with you for keeping Peeta away for so long, if you weren’t so pretty.”

“Stop hitting on Katniss, Fin. You’ve already got a wife,” Peeta grins. He seems to be in a much better mood then last night.

Finnick laughs and holds his hands in surrender. “Just a compliment.”

Annie arrives from behind me; her stomach has grown since the last time I saw her but that hasn’t stopped her from looking incredibly gorgeous.

“Hey Kat,” Annie greets me with a hug.

“Hey, you look stunning. Pregnancy agrees with you.”

“It doesn’t agree with my stomach. I still have morning sickness.”

“The doctor said that it would stop the further along we get though,” Finnick said.

“So what brings you guys here at nine in the morning?”

Annie and Finnick look at each other before they steal a glance at Peeta that doesn’t go unnoticed.

“I want to show you something without the kids so Fin and Annie agreed to watch them for a bit.”

I look at the group of them skeptically before shrugging my shoulders and excusing myself to go change out of my lounging sweats and into something more appropriate. A few moments later I’m saying goodbye to the kids and thanking for Finnick and Annie for watching the kids on such a short notice before Peeta is whisking me out of the door. I hand over the keys to my Jeep to Peeta because there is no sense in driving the Mellark’s Bakery van and Peeta is insistent on keeping wherever we’re going a surprise.

We pull into a subdivision that has a fancy sign with a ludicrous named scrolled across the stone; Victors Village. The housing development is in the better part of District 12; the complete other side from where my apartment is located, and the place where my Uncle Haymitch used to live when I was first born. The house that we stop in front of is located in the back, on a dead end road with only a few other members and a backyard that backs up to miles of forestry.

“Who lives here?” I ask Peeta while undoing my seatbelt.

Peeta hops out of the Jeep. “Nobody.”

“What?”

Peeta doesn’t give a further explanation because a swanky looking car is pulling into the driveway. A lady gets out with large hair and sky high heels. She’s flamboyant to say the least.

“Welcome, welcome!” She cheers to Peeta who’s already making his way up the drive to shake her hand.

I scramble to follow him, tripping up the concrete driveway until I’m standing next to Peeta with a look of confusion plastered on my face.

“I’m Effie Trinket, from Trinket Real Estate,” she greets.

 _Real Estate._ I whip my head to look at Peeta but he makes a point not to meet my gaze. “I’m Peeta Mellark and this is my girlfriend, Katniss Everdeen. We spoke on the phone last night. Thank you for meeting us at such a short notice.”

“Honestly, I was thrilled to hear that you were interested in this house. It’s been on the market for ages. I have to be honest, this was one of the first houses built so it’s older and it sits far back from the rest of the houses, that’s why it’s been so difficult to sell. Everyone has been wanting more of the capitol design and this is more original to District 12.”

We follow Effie up the sidewalk and wait for her to unlock the door. I’m furious. So furious that I can’t even talk, in fear that I’ll blow up and say from I’ll end up regretting. I can’t believe that Peeta had the audacity to search for houses to live in when I refused to move in with him. It’s too soon. We’ve only just gotten together it seems like.

Once Effie gets the door unlocked and opens it for us, I see Peeta gathering the courage to steal a look my way. I make sure I give him the best pissed off look I can muster before pushing past him and make my way into the house.

I want to hate it. I want this house to remind of everything I hated about the Capitol. I wanted it to be all white and chrome and black with a gas fire place and glass dividing walls. But it’s not. It’s warm and homely, with dark floorboards that are all throughout the house, a gigantic wood burning fireplace. The kitchen is large and I can perfectly see Peeta covered in flour with Jack sitting on the counter next to him as Bran is checking the bread that is already in the oven while Sage and I sit patiently at the table with crayons and paper.

“Upstairs has four bedrooms while the master is located on the on the first floor. It also has a study and two and a half bathrooms,” Effie chirps.

“Great. Do you mind if we look over everything by ourselves?” Peeta asks.

“Oh certainly. I’ll just be outside making a few phone calls. Take your time.”

I don’t talk to Peeta as he follows me upstairs to silently check out each room. They are all bigger than the rooms the kids have now and one of them is even painted a pale purple color that would be perfect for Sage.

In a last room, the one that looks out towards the woods in the backyard, I finally turn and look at Peeta.

“You’re mad,” he confirms.

“You think?” I bite.

“I know it wasn’t right to do this behind your back, but I was just upset last night when you again turned down moving in with me, so I started looking up houses and I just found this and thought it was perfect. I mean, this house is amazing, right?”

“Just because this is a nice house, doesn’t make this okay.”

“Do you like the house though?”

“Yeah, it’s a great house. Reminds me of the house I used to live in only a thousand times bigger and a zillion times nicer. But that still doesn’t make this okay.”

“Could you see yourself living here?”

I roll my eyes. Peeta is obviously going to ignore everything I have to say until I tell him that yes I love the place and yes I could see us living here. “Yes. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

“If you think it’s a great place and can see us living here why shouldn’t we live here?”

“We can’t afford a place like this,” I excuse.

“The bakery is doing really, really well. We can afford it.”

“You mean that you can afford it.”

My comment takes Peeta by surprise. He opens and closes his mouth a few times without knowing exactly what to say before finally giving a huff. “No, _we_ can afford it. Katniss, I love you, and I want to do this. I want the next step.”

“It’s too soon for the next step.”

“Says who? I already have three kids, a marriage and a divorce under my belt. Our relationship is kind of in the slow lane from what I’m used to,” Peeta jokes and I’m only mildly amused.

“I’m serious Peeta.”

Peeta crosses the room suddenly. He looks down at me with a serious expression that I’ve never seen before. “You think I’m not? You’re it Katniss, and I don’t say that lightly. Delly fucked a lot of things up and I was scared shitless to let anyone other than Fin and Annie remotely close to myself or the kids in fear that they would disappear, until you moved back, and that childhood crush I had on you before I moved came back like it never really left. And here you are, with me and my kids that love you so much and cry when you spend any time away from us.”

“I love you too,” I mutter, not daring to look at Peeta. I need to stay strong. I need to hold my ground. If I look at him now, I’ll say yes to moving and there go the very last brick that has guarded my heart.

“We have a solution on the space problem. Is there any other reason why you don’t want to take this next step?”

I’m caught in a lose-lose situation. If I tell Peeta that there isn’t a reason then he’ll take that as an okay to move forward, but if I tell Peeta that I’m terrified that something bad might happen if I get too comfortable with the life I’ve created with Peeta and the kids and my heart is the one that takes the beating.

 _Do what makes you happy._ It’s Gale’s voice again, that rings throughout my thoughts.

“Let’s do it.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay again. Updates probably won't be coming every week due to my crazy busy schedule. The next three months is going to be a whirlwind of grownup shit that I don't want to do. But my 21st is in like 50ish days and I've already requested one of those drunk Barbie cakes that you see online but instead of Barbie, I really want it to be Spider-Man or an X-Men character.   
> Anyways, I'm not too thrilled with the beginning of this chapter but other than that, enjoy.

“You cannot possibly be moving in with him, Catnip!” Gale says to me first thing in the morning. He’s made it a point to find me the moment I go to work and interrogate me right in the lobby.

“First of all, good morning to you too, Gale,” I say sarcastically. “Secondly, how did you even find out that Peeta and I were moving in together?” I move past my best friend and head for the waiting area for the elevators and press the down button.

“Hello, you are living in district 12! It’s a small district with too many nosy people. I’m actually surprised that I only just found out this morning.”

“Well, we only went to see a house on Saturday. Nothing is set in stone yet. Peeta is calling people today in hopes of getting the ball rolling quickly so we can be moved in before Christmas.”

“You can’t move in with him.”

The elevator I’ve been waiting for finally pings and opens its doors, allowing me to step in. Of course Gale follows me in, glaring at me intently, waiting for me to respond to his ridiculous demand.

“I thought you told me to do what makes me happy?” I question, cocking my head to one side as we make our ways down to the labs.

“Yeah and I thought that you would finally come to your senses that this is a very bad idea.”

“How so?”

“Peeta has a history—“

 “I have a history,” I interrupt.

“—a history that you don’t need to involve yourself in,” he continues.

The elevator comes to a stop and I get out only enough to stand in the way of Gale getting out with me. “I appreciate you trying to look out for me but for once I’m actually happy, so I’m going to do this. I love Peeta and I love the kids and I truly think that this will work and if not, it’s not going to be something I regret.”

The elevator doors shut in Gale’s face before he has a chance to respond, not that I’d want him to, his opinion isn’t going to change my decision. I’m happy, Peeta’s happy, the kids are thrilled, and there is nothing stopping us now.

XxX

“You two are buying a house together?” Johanna squeals in between mouthfuls of peanut butter sandwich.

I nod my head in conformation.

“How did that happen?”

“Well,” I start, “Peeta and I got into our first fight when he asked me to move in and I said no because there wouldn’t be enough room and I was afraid that he’d get sick of me, so while Peeta was still upset he looked up houses that were for sale and contacted a realtor to show us houses on Saturday. I was pissed but I loved the house and so did Peeta. It was built just for us and the kids and I could picture all of us there and it felt right so I said go for it.”

“And when are you moving?”

“I’m not sure. I’m not even sure if we’ll get the house, but hopefully before Christmas so we can have our first family Christmas there.”

Johanna smirked. “What did I tell you? I knew that you guys were going to get serious really fast. I should have bet money on it.”

XxX

Between Johanna’s sarcastic undertones and Gale’s blatant hatred for my relationship with Peeta, I begin having doubts on my way back home. Of course the moment I walk through the door and greeted by the kids with hugs and exciting news from whatever happened during their day at school, those doubts are greatly reduced. Not entirely gone though, and not gone enough for Peeta not to take notice at my indifferent attitude during dinner. He lets it go until the beds have retired to bed and the closets have all been checked for monsters.

“What’s wrong?” Peeta corners me in the kitchen.

“Are we moving too fast? Everyone thinks we’re moving too quickly. I mean they’re right, we did just get together not too long ago,” I ramble on, taking a sip of tea I had been making before Peeta and I head to bed ourselves.

“Do you think we’re moving too fast?”

I shrug. “Gale says—“

“I’m not buying a house with _Gale_ ; I’m buying a house with you.”

“Half of me says that we’re ready but the other half of me is nervous.”

“You think that I’m not nervous?”

I look at Peeta as if he was joking. His face is serious. “You’re nervous?”

He gives me a half laugh. “Buying a house is a scary thing. Any sane person would nervous. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it. I love you, the kids love you, we love the house, and this is the next step.”

“I just don’t want something bad to happen and you end up regretting things,” I mumble.

Peeta shocks me by pulling me into him, crashing our lips together. Normally Peeta isn’t so brazen in any room other than the bedroom because of my fear that the children would walk in on us during a compromising situation. But right now, he’s thrown all reservations into the wind and has me pinned against the cupboards and attacking my mouth with his own.

I ease into the dangerous kiss, feeling Peeta’s tongue tracing my lips, eagerly waiting to deepen it. I allow it, sighing as he sucks on my bottom lip. Peeta takes this as a sign of encouragement, which normally it is, but not in the kitchen.

“Peeta,” I moan out as his wondering hands grope my chest. “Peeta we need to stop, the kids could come in any minute.”

“If we had a house, they’d be asleep upstairs and not only a few feet away,” Peeta grins down at me.

I smile with him. I haven’t changed my mind about moving, I still want to do it. In my heart it’s the right thing. I just wish my best friend would be more on board with my happiness and the rest of the town would back the hell off.

“Have you talked to Effie today?”

“I did, and since we could put the deposit down in cash, the house could basically be ours whenever because the government is sick of it. I know you’re nervous Katniss, but I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

“I know,” I whisper and curl into his chest, allowing Peeta to wrap his arms around me and envelop me completely. “We’re doing this.”

XxX

It took all of November to deal with the house. Between putting in the offer and closing on the deal and then doing a few fixes here and there and giving the old house a fresh coat all over. The first thing we did as an official family once we were all moved in was go out and cut down our own tree and decorate it while listening to Christmas music and eating some of Peeta’s baked goods. It was all very cheesy but the kids loved it and to be honest, so did I.

The second thing Peeta and I have decided to do is host a first annual white elephant Christmas party. It’s something that I’ve become increasingly nervous about. Especially since Prim, my mother and Uncle Haymitch are attending, as well as Gale, who is still bitter about me going through with the move. Peeta’s parents will also make an appearance and I can’t forget about the first time I met them. That was a disaster.

“What are you thinking about?” Peeta’s arms circle me from behind and he rests his chin on my shoulder.

“How terrible this party is going to be,” I groan.

“It’s not going to be terrible. Finn and Annie will be here, Prim and Rory, people from the bakery, Johanna and whoever her date is. You’ll get to see your mom and uncle, and you’ll get to introduce me to them as your sexy boyfriend whom you love so much. Madge will be here.”

I groan loudly. “I’ve successfully blown her off ever since we’ve become a couple. Why does she have to come? She’s just going to talk about gossip that’s about us and ugh,” I groan again.

I love Madge dearly, I do. It’s just that she tries far too hard and is a bit of a gossip queen. We text occasionally, to keep the friendship that returned as soon as I moved back, but every time she’s asked to get together, I’ve used one of the kids as a lame excuse not to hang out with her.

“Be nice Katniss, she’s your friend.”

“But she’s not your friend; remember that Delly got her in the divorce?” I go back to one of the conversations we had at The Hob.

Peeta smiles and kisses my cheek. “For one night, she can be my friend too.”

XxX

I grip my champagne glass tightly as I watch Jack climb onto my Uncle Haymitch’s lap from across the room. He looks at the toddler apprehensively before bouncing his knees up and down to jostle Jack slightly, sending him into a fit of giggles.

“Calm down,” Peeta whispers into my ear as he kisses my temple. “Haymitch practically raised you and Prim right? Jack will be fine.”

“No, I raised myself and Prim. Haymitch was just a drunken abscess that lurked in the backgrounds and gave us poor life advice.”

I watch as Haymitch digs into his coat pocket and produces a metal flask. I’m over there before he has a chance to unscrew the top and bring it up to his chapped lips.

“No drinking while holding my child please,” I scoop Jack into my arms and set him on my hip.

Haymitch gives me a peculiar look and laughs. “What?” I snap.

“Oh nothing, Darling, it’s just you said ‘ _my child’_ that’s all.”

I feel my face redden but I don’t dare look anywhere but directly at my drunken Uncle. He won’t win this battle. “And that’s funny because..?”

“It’s funny because I don’t remember you ever having kids, or liking them for that matter.”

I can’t think of anything else to say so I stomp off in a huff, distracting Jack by taking him over to the foods table. I scan the room for Bran and Sage; they’re being occupied by Prim and Rory. I look for Peeta next and my heart stops when I see who he’s talking to; his mother. It’s an hour or so into the party and I hoped that she wouldn’t show up. Peeta and I make eye contact and gives me a tight, and forced smile before his mom turns to see that I’m the one her son is looking at. The look on her face is enough to send the Devil himself running in fear, but I can’t afford to look weak. I’m not weak.

“Mommy,” Jack wiggles to get my attention.

“Yes baby?” I smile at him.

“I want,” he says and points to one of the cookies on the assorted platter.

“You have to say please,” I say before reaching out to get the sugar cookie with Santa Claus iced on the top.

“Peas!” Jack grins and I hand it to him. “Dank you.”

I kiss Jack’s messy blond locks and make my ways to Bran and Sage. I tell them that they have twenty more minutes until we have to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I suggested that they go say hello to their grandparents, no matter how much I want to keep that old witch away from my kids. _My kids_. I’ve got to stop saying that.

Sometime during the night after I excused myself to put the kids to sleep, Madge found me and immediately began gushing about my relationship with Peeta. She remarked that I didn’t even look pregnant, but I have that glow that most pregnant people talk about. I can’t set her straight fast enough, practically yelling at Madge frantically that I’m not pregnant. She doesn’t seem convinced but I have to let it go before I go crazy.

It’s after ten before the last of the guests with the exception of my mom, Haymitch, and Prim leave. My mom, Haymitch and Prim are all staying over due to the long drive from here to the capitol and Haymitch is already passed out in the recliner, he has been most of the party.

“You look really happy,” Prim says to me as she helps load the dishwasher.

“I am. I’m constantly worrying that this won’t work out, but right now I’m really happy.”

“When are you not worrying? You wouldn’t be Katniss if you didn’t overthink things and play out ridiculous scenarios that’ll never happen in your head.”

“It’s better to be safe than to be sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s better to be happy than to be miserable.”

“I’m happy.”

“Good because you can’t get rid of Peeta. I like him and his kids too much and Peeta agreed to bake some cookies for my sorority next month.”

 “You’re just using him for his baked goods,” I tease.

“I’m fine with that,” I hear Peeta’s voice from behind us. “That’s how I got Katniss to go out with me.”

“Well you know what they say, a way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach,” Prim jokes.

“Very true with this one,” Peeta steals an apologetic kiss from me before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. “Jack is in Bran’s room so his room is ready for you. Your mom has already gone to bed in the spare bedroom. She says good night.”

Prim nods. “I should probably go to bed as well. I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Finally it’s just Peeta and I.

“I love you,” he whispers to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S: I'm watching last nights episode of The Voice and want to know who else watches it and who do you want to win?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've seriously rewritten this half a dozen times. I didn't edit it simply because I don't have time. I probably won't be updating until december or after the new years.   
> But anyways, a lot of stuff happens in the chapter and things are finally going to start taking off.   
> ENJOY!

The rest of December flew by between celebrating Christmas, Bran’s birthday, and New Year’s Eve. January was just as busy, trying to find a comfortable schedule for the five of us. Eventually we worked one out. Peeta gets up around four in the morning and heads to the bakery to start the ovens, and then at around six I get up and get ready for my day followed by waking up the kids and getting Bran on the bus. I drop Sage and Jack off at daycare on my way to work. The school bus drops Bran off in the afternoon at the bakery and he spends an hour working with Peeta before they pick up the younger ones and head home to start dinner. Once I arrive, I help Bran with his homework, help the kids clean up and Sage sets the table so we can all sit down for dinner no later than six. Sage and Jack are in bed by eight, Bran in bed by eight-thirty and it’s not much longer until Peeta and I are asleep ourselves, only to repeat it all over again come morning.

I didn’t think I’d be one for a domesticated lifestyle, but it’s hard to picture what my life was like before. The one where I came home to an empty apartment and ate take-out six nights a week, I couldn’t imagine even the thought of having kids but now I look forward to every little boo-boo that needs to be kissed.

“What are you thinking about?” Peeta wraps a strong around my torso and pulls me into his firm chest. I don’t know how I ever thought moving in together would be a bad idea. The feeling alone of sharing a bed with Peeta every single night should have been reason enough.

“I’m just thinking how happy I am,” I turn over in bed and nuzzle my face into his neck.

“I’m happy too.”

“Where do you see us in a year?”

“Married and possibly pregnant.”

My eyes threaten to bug out of my head as I jerk away from Peeta’s form in order to see his face clearly. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah. You don’t think that we’ll be married by this time next year?”

“Married, sure, but pregnant? We’ve already got three kids.”

“I want kids with you. I want to see if he or she would have your hair and eyes or mine. Would they get your love for the outdoors and that fire or my passiveness and artistic skills?”

“I never thought about having kids then I got three of them and now I can’t even think about having another one because there is no way that it would compare to what amazing kids we have now.”

“I love how you think of them as yours.”

“They are mine.”

XxX

I stroll the aisles up and down trying to remember everything Peeta told me to get while at the store. I knew that I should have written it down, but I didn’t so I’m stuck trying to rack my brain as I shove things into the cart that I think sounds right.

“Katniss!”

I whip my head around to find Madge coming down the aisle with a basket filled with fruits on her arm.

“Hey Madge,” I smile. I haven’t talked to her since the Christmas party Peeta and I held together and only a few text messages before that.

“How are you?”

“Good. With March coming up, Peeta’s been busy at the bakery. How are you?”

“Good. I cannot wait for summer.”

“I never want it to be summer. Then Peeta and I will have to find someone to watch the kids.”

“Well I’m sure now that Delly is back home she can help out.”

I look at Madge thinking I heard her wrong. “What?”

“Delly moved back home. She’s been staying with me until she can find a place. Didn’t Peeta tell you?” I shake my head. “Funny. I know that they had dinner when she first got here.”

“Oh yeah, he did mention that. I must have forgotten about it,” I lie. “Anyways, I need to check out and head home if I want to feed the kids at a respectable time.”

I don’t remember paying for the grocery cart full of food, or driving home. I am up to my neck in anger. I can’t believe that Delly has moved back and nobody has talked about it. I work with Johanna, who knows all of the town’s gossip. Even more unbelievable that Peeta has had dinner with his ex-wife without telling me. It was just recently that Peeta was telling me that he could see us married with another kid on the way in the matter of a year. How can we do that if he doesn’t tell me that his ex is not only in town but has moved back?

I decide not to tell Peeta that I know when I pull into the driveway. I’ll leave it up to him to tell me, even though I know that isn’t the best idea because the longer he waits, the more mad I’ll end up. I just hope for his sake that he tells me soon.

XxX

A little over a week has passed and Peeta still hasn’t told me about Delly. I can see a difference in him though. There will be days where he doesn’t touch me at all, and then others Peeta will over compensate his affections. It’s getting on my nerves and I don’t bother to hide my irritation. Even Bran took a notice.

“What’s wrong?” Bran asked once I shut one of his homework books.

“What do you mean, nothing is wrong?”

“You’re mad at Dad. What did he do?”

“I’m not mad at him,” I defend.

“Dad did something you didn’t like because he’s acting weird too. What’d do?”

“You’re too smart for your age. Don’t worry about what your father did or didn’t do.”

“I can’t help it. I don’t want you guys to fight and I don’t want you to leave.”

I kiss the top of Bran’s head. “I’ll never leave you or your siblings ever, okay?”

“Promise?”

I stick out my pinky. “I promise.”

XxX

Another week has gone by and Peeta still has yet to mention the fact that his ex-wife is in town. He has to know that I know by now. That’s all Johanna has wanted to talk about since she ran into the lab shouting my name and demanding all of the gossip. I’m letting it go though, one reason being that it’s affecting me physically, rendering me helpless with anxiety, and two, Peeta seems to be acting like himself again.

Expect for today. Today he’s been extra smiley and hands-on. Sage walked into the kitchen while he was whispering dirty things into my ear, his erection pressing against my bottom. It was enough to send me into celibacy for a month, but not Peeta.

“What has gotten into today?” I finally ask him as I stop his hand from traveling too far down my side and into my sweatpants as I pack Bran’s lunch for tomorrow.

“Nothing,” he grins.

“You’re acting like a frat boy hopped up on Viagra.”

“What’s so bad about always being turned on by your girlfriend?”

“I can name three reasons why it’s bad to always be turned on,” I say talking about the kids.

Peeta gives a light laugh seemingly unaffected. “Fine, I did something yesterday. Or rather I got you something yesterday.”

“What is it?”

“You have to wait until we have a date night.”

“Peeta,” I protest. “We haven’t had a date night since that first time. If I have to wait for another one then I might be waiting for the rest of my life.”

It seems like Peeta is mulling it over in his head. “You’re right.”

I follow Peeta as he heads into the bedroom and into the closet, rifling through some of his older clothes in the back before pulling out an old, ugly sports coat and sticks his hand into the pocket. I watch as he produces a velvet box and my stomach drops to the floor.

“Peeta,” I warn him.

“It’s not very romantic to propose in a closet, but that’s okay.”

I take the box from his hand and open it. I’m surprised when I open the lid. I’m expecting to see a diamond ring but instead I see a pearl ring with small diamonds surrounding it.

“I looked and looked for a traditional engagement ring but the moment I saw this I had to get it. It’s not too flashy but it’s unique. Do you like it?”

“I love it,” I whisper without taking my eyes off of the ring.

“So what do you say Katniss? Make this even more official and become my fiancée?”

So many emotions are rushing through me at this very moment. Happiness is the main one along with fear. I also feel anger because Peeta still hasn’t told me about Delly. And I can’t help but to wonder if he’s only asking me now so when the cat does come out of the bag, he’ll have the engagement to fall back on and hopefully to lessen my anger at him in the future.

“Are you sure?”

Peeta looks at me quizzically. “Katniss, I was sure the moment I saw you at the grocery store. I want to marry you. I want you to be Mrs. Peeta Mellark.”

I really hate when Peeta talks like that because it breaks down all the barriers that I’ve worked so hard on putting up.

“I love you Katniss,” Peeta urges.

“Then yes.”

I can barely catch Peeta smiling before he scoops me up into a kiss then immediately releasing me to take the ring from my hand and put it on my left ring finger. It feels weird. Only I’m not sure if it’s a good weird or a bad one yet.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasn't planning on posting this and I had more to add but decided that I'd just put it in the next chapter. so this is short but after three weeks of no update I thought you guys wouldn't mind. what did y'all think of mockingjay part one?! I thought it was beautiful and my baby Josh Hutcherson was extremely handsome even when he was all hijacked. again, I probably won't be updating for a little bit. Maybe after new years but I said that last time so never say never.  
> happy thanksgiving!

I knew I should have talked to Peeta about Delly before accepting his marriage proposal. Now whenever I try to coax it out of him it seems like I’m trying to start a fight, or try to ruin us. Maybe we’re finally out of the ‘honeymoon’ period and these little spats are going to be what’s expected from us for the rest of our lives. I can’t have that. I won’t have that. I need to talk to Peeta soon before the kids become even more suspicious of my weird behavior. On more than one occasion Bran has called me into his bedroom before bed and promised me that I’d still be there when he woke up in the morning. It breaks my heart. I’d never leave my kids. _My_ kids.

I cannot stand going to bed any longer pretending that nothing is wrong. Peeta has just turned his light off for the night and if I don’t say something soon, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I steel myself, taking a few deep breaths and count to five.

“Peeta,” I whisper into the dark.

He makes a grunt in acknowledgement.

It’s now or never. “I know. I know that Delly is town and that you’ve been seeing her.”

Peeta doesn’t say anything for a long moment before he turns over and clicks the lamp back own. He looks at me with a guilty look.

“I was wondering when you were going to ask about her.”

I scoff. “Why do I have to be the one bringing it up? You’re the one that met your ex-wife behind my back—“

“I didn’t go behind your back,” Peeta interrupted me.

“Well you sure as hell didn’t tell me about it.”

“What did you want me to say?”

“You could have said something like _‘hey my ex-wife is in town for good and I’m going to have dinner with her to see what the fuck she wants. I’ll be back later tonight, love you.’_ ” I try to mimic Peeta’s voice. “But no, you went to dinner with her and told me you had to work late at the bakery and I had to find out from fucking Madge in the middle of the frozen section in the damn grocery store!”

“I’m sorry,” Peeta offers pathetically.

I throw my hands up in the air. “You’re sorry? Why did she move back Peeta?”

He shrugged. “She wanted a change in careers.”

By the way Peeta didn’t look up at me but instead played with sheets between his fingers I knew he was leaving something out.

I repeat the question. “Why did she move back?”

Another long moment goes by. Peeta is reluctant to tell me, but finally he looks up and sighs. “She says that she’s had a change of heart. She misses her kids. She misses me.”

I barely register what Peeta says. “ _Her kids_? No, they are my kids. She gave up her right to be their mother when she left them two fucking years ago.”

“They’re still her kids. She birthed them,” he protests.

I scoff and throw the covers back and climb out of bed. I can’t sleep anywhere near him right now, I can’t stand the sight of him at the moment. How dare he. Before I can leave the room though my thumbs subconsciously pets the engagement ring and I halt in my spot near the door.

“Why did you propose to me?”

“What?”

“Did you give me this ring in hopes of lessening the blow when I found out that she is trying to get you back?”

“You’re crazy.”

“Don’t call me crazy. I’m very serious.”

Peeta is out of bed before I can exhale a breath and pushing me up against the nearest wall. “You are acting crazy, Ms. Everdeen. For as long as we’ve been together, I’ve known that I was going to marry you and you knew that.”

Peeta’s lips are hot on my neck. His kisses aren’t at all gentle like they normally are. They are sharp and painful but oh so satisfying. He finds my lower lip and bites it eliciting a moan from me. I’m already dripping wet and willing to beg for release but I can’t give in.

“No,” I half-heartedly tempt to push Peeta off of me but he only digs his hips into me further allowing me to feel his erection through the two thin layers of pajama pants we are both wearing.

Fuck it. I grind myself against Peeta firmly eliciting a victory moan from him. We don’t take our time, it’s not needed. Peeta manages to push both my pants and underwear to the ground before picking me up and holding me against the wall for support as he frees his cock from the confines of his own pants.

He sinks into me a second later and we both groan. With my legs wrapped around Peeta’s waist and him holding me by my hips, Peeta is able to hit me deep, filling me completely. Anymore and I’m sure I’d break in half, but it seems that is what Peeta is trying to do. He fucks me harder and harder until I’m biting his shoulder to prevent myself from screaming. Peeta is punishing me for asking him if the proposal was real or not. He’s fucking me until I understand that he is mine just as I am his.

I raise my head from his shoulder and look into his eyes. They are glazed over and boring holes into me like he’s been hijacked or possessed. He switches positions and my legs go over his forearms and his hands are braced against the wall by my head. My shoulders and knees are almost touching and I’d be impressed by my flexibility if I could focus on anything other than my entire body tensing up.

“I’m gonna come,” I rasp.

Peeta does something unexpected and slows down to the point where I’m no longer right on the edge. I look at him in confusion. Peeta has never denied me an orgasm before. Normally he prides himself on how fast he can make me come. I move my hand down between us but Peeta grabs my hands and holds them over my head.

“No.” is all he says.

The buildup is becoming too much but I relish in the way Peeta starts to simulate my overly sensitive clit with his pelvis. He wants my orgasm to be completely him and when he says.

“Please,” I beg.

That is the magic word because Peeta picks up the pace and within seconds I’m reaching insane heights and then crashing into the abyss. I’m unaware that Peeta finishes and brings me back to the bed. We stayed wrapped up in each other as our breathing evens out.

“I love you Katniss. I have never loved, nor will I ever love Delly the way I love you. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about her. I knew that you knew but I didn’t want to break the bubble we’ve been living in. Delly is nothing, you have nothing to worry about.”

“I’m not worried,” I defend. “I just wish you would have told me. We’re partners now; we have to decide things together.”

Peeta nods and nuzzles into my neck, kissing the skins gently. This is the Peeta I’m used to. Not that the Peeta that just made an appearance was bad. In all honesty, I wouldn’t mind if he came out to play more often.  

“I love you too,” I offer and can feel Peeta smile.

“I’ll tell you the next time Delly comes to me.”

I settle back into the pillows. A heavy weight has lifted off of my chest and I know Peeta feels the same. Sated and without worry, I fall into a blissful sleep with Peeta’s hand intertwined with mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s: my shift keys are barely working and my laptop altogether is on it's last leg which is more like a nub, so I'm sorry for all the grammatical errors.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO INCREDIBLY SORRY ABOUT THE LONG WAIT! That's why I've posted this without even editing. I'll go back and edit later, I just wanted it get this up. Only about three chapters left for this story and hopefully I'll have the chapters up shortly. I started writing another story on my phone's notepad while driving from one state to another and spent new years editing it and putting some it it into chapters. The first chapter is [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3110327/chapters/6738566) so go and check it out once you've read this.

One month. One month was all it took for everything to fall into place. One month to settle into the idea that Peeta and I were getting married, and soon, if he gets his way. It only took one day for things to get blown up again.

It’s later than normal when I’m walking out of work and towards my car. I’m on the phone with Prim, who is coming to 12 soon to discuss wedding plans when I notice a blonde leaning against the hood of my jeep.

“Uh Prim, I have to go,” I don’t bother waiting for a goodbye in response before I’m hanging up. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, you can give me the ring that supposed to be mine,” Delly sneered, pushing off my Jeep and walking towards me.

“Oh I’m sorry; I didn’t realize it had your name on it.”

“Don’t be a bitch. If you knew what was good for you, you’d go back to the Capitol and forget all about the time you tried to play house with my family.”

“They aren’t your family anymore. They haven’t been since you walked out on them.”

“You talk as if you know the whole story. Peeta knew I was coming back. He knew that I’d come back for him and _our_ kids after I cleared my head. I’m here now, so do us all a favor and pack your bags now.”

“I don’t think so.”

I get into my Jeep but before I get a chance to close the door Delly grabs it and yanks it open again.

“I didn’t want to show these to you but you’re leaving me no choice.”

Delly whips out her phone and shows it to me. On the screen is a conversation of text messages between her and Peeta.

_I miss you. The kids miss you. I wish things could be different. If things were different we would still be together. I still love you, you know that._

I slide the messages to the left to check the dates and times; they’re all recent. The last one only being a few weeks ago. I stop scrolling after that. “I’ve got to go.”

I slam the door shut and zoom off and out of the parking lot not stopping for oncoming traffic. I’m so stupid. This is the exact reason why I put off relationships. They’re too messy, too complicated, and someone always gets hurt. You love someone too much and they don’t love you enough.

I pull into the driveway and note that Peeta is still not home. Great, this will give me a chance for me to mull over what exactly I’m going to say to him.

“Mama!” Jack shouts when I walk through the door and I have to do everything possible not to burst out in tears.

Posy, our babysitter, appears in the doorway with a sleepy looking Sage resting on her hip. “Sage isn’t feeling too well, I took her temperature but she didn’t have one.”

I reach out for her and immediately Sage lets go of Posy and is in my arm. “What hurts, Baby?”

“My tummy,” she mumbles in my neck.

“Okay, let’s get you some medicine then bath time and we can go bed early, sound good?”

Sage nods and I head further into the house, setting my purse onto the counter, digging out my wallet and producing a couple bills to pay Posy with. “Thanks Pose, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

It’s not until I’ve gotten medicine and a piece of toast into Sage when Bran makes his presence known. He said something about needing help with a few last math questions and then he’d be done. I tell him that once I get Sage into the bath that I’ll be in his room to help.

“Okay what do you need help with?” I ask as I knock on Bran’s door some minutes later.

“This math is stupid. I don’t need it; I’m just going to be a baker like dad.”

“Well bakers do need math. What if your dad needed to double the recipe, he’d need to know math in order to double it correctly.”

“Or you could just put two of everything in, no math at all.”

“True, but it’s still good to know.”

Jack is jumping on my bed, not something he’s normally aloud to do, while I help put some of my lavender lotion on to help her sleep when I hear the front door open and close. Shit, I haven’t had time to even think about what I’m going to say to Peeta.

My heart and stomach clench tightly as I kiss Sage and tell her I love her before tucking her into bed and shutting her door. I snatch Jack up off my bed mid jump and take him to Bran’s room and ask him to look after his brother before shutting his door as well.

I slowly make my way down the stairs, steadying my breath and steeling my emotions.

Peeta is in the kitchen starting on dinner even though it’s my night to cook.

“Hey where are the kids?”

“Sage is sick and in bed. The boys are in Bran’s room.”

“Gotcha. How was work?”

I don’t answer because if I open my mouth, I swear I’ll throw up. I grip onto the countertop and snap my eyes shut quickly. I can’t do this.

“You okay? Maybe you’re sick too. Why don’t you lay down, the boys and I can fend for ourselves tonight.”

“I’m not sick,” I get out.

“Then what’s wrong?”

Peeta dries his hands off with a hand towel and tries to touch me, but I pull away. Now I can see that he’s filled with as much fear as I am.

“Delly came to see me today. She was waiting by my car when I got off.”

“I’ll talk to her, she won’t bother you anymore. Delly isn’t a problem for us.”

“No, I think I’m the problem.”

“What?” Peeta asked in a confused tone.

“I saw the text messages.”

All of the color drains from Peeta’s face as if you switched a colored TV to black and white. This isn’t the type of reaction I wanted from him. I wasn’t expecting this ‘shit I’ve been caught’ look; I wanted an explanation of Delly is crazy and coerced me to say those things.

“If things were different, you two would be together. If you hadn’t made a previous engagement to me, you two would still be together.”

“It’s not like that,” Peeta runs his fingers through his hair. The nerves are getting at him too.

“Then what’s it like?”

“I meant that if we weren’t together, that Delly and I would have most likely gotten back together.”

“It’s the same thing. I’m standing in the way of a family being together. You know how much I would give for my family to all be together and happy?”

“But your dad is dead; you can’t get him back, Katniss. Delly chose to leave. She was willing to give up her family.”

“But she came back. She came back for you and for your kids, and she’s not going to leave until she proves that she wants to be back in all of your lives again.”

“She can be in our lives, just not in the way she wants.”

“But you still love her!” I shout loudly then immediately stop, remembering that there are kids upstairs that don’t need to hear this fight. “How am I supposed to compete with a woman you were married to and had kids with and still love after all of this time and everything that she’s done?”

“Stop,” Peeta’s voice is shaky. “I know what you’re going to say next but I’m going to let you say it.”

“I just don’t see how this can get any better.”

“It will. We’re going to get married and have another baby or two. We’re going to be happy, Katniss.”

Peeta wraps his arms around me faster than I push him away and his lips are on me. I don’t kiss back. I have to focus on trying to tame the tears pouring out of my eyes. It’s not until Peeta pulls away do I realize that Peeta is crying too.

“We need a break. We rushed into this too fast. We haven’t been together a year yet and we’re engaged and living together. We need a break to decide if this is what we really want.”

“You are what I want, Katniss. This break isn’t going to change how I feel about you.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it’ll be good for us. I’m going to say goodbye to the boys then I’m going to go, okay?”

“You don’t need to leave, I will. The kids will miss you.”

“Yeah but you’re their dad.”

“And you’re their mom.”

I shake my head. “Not really.”

I dry my eyes on the way upstairs and to Bran’s room. Jack is jumping on the bed and Bran is ignoring him while playing some video game. I catch Jack from falling back down onto the bed and hug him close to me, smelling him in and memorizing how he feels.

“Be good,” I whisper into his ear before letting him go back to jumping.

Bran has pushed paused on his game and is now watching me with a look of horror plastered on his face. He’s too smart for me to fool him. I give him a weak smile anyways as I blink back the oncoming tears.

“No,” he states sternly. Oh, how much he looks like Peeta in this moment.

“It’ll only be for a little bit, and if not, you’ll still see me. I promise.”

“That’s what _she_ said before she left too.”

“And she’s back now. Ready to be your mom.”

“She’ll never be my mom.”

I don’t reply, I just bend down and hug him. Bran hugs back even tighter, as if trying to convey in this hug how badly he doesn’t want me to leave. If he only knew that I didn’t want to leave either.

“Take care of your brother and sister, okay? Make sure they’re safe and that they’re being good. You have my phone number and you can call me anytime you want, day or night. I’ll be at Johanna’s,” _if she’ll have me,_ “and you remember where that is right? So if you ever need me, I’ll be close by.”

Bran’s face is blotched red and wet with tears, Jack is oblivious to us in the background.

“You and dad can work it out. You can get married and we’ll stay a family and you’ll help me with my math. I’ll get really good at math if you just stay,” Bran chokes out a plea.

“It’ll happen eventually. Just not right now okay?”

“Can I come with you? Please, I don’t want to be with dad. I hate him.”

“You don’t hate him. It’s not his fault I’m leaving. He doesn’t want me to either. You need to stay here and take care of everyone okay? I know you’ve been doing it all your life but I’ll be back soon.”

“I love you,” he hugs me once more.

“I love you too, Bran. Always.”

I leave Bran in his bed room. I don’t want him to physically see me walking out of the door like he saw Delly. It would be too much for all of us. After packing a small bag I come back down the steps, Peeta is leaning against the counter with a glass of whiskey in his hand. The way he gulps it down and immediately pours another one tells me that it wasn’t his first. I screw the cap onto the bottle and put it back in the cabinet above the fridge before he has a chance to down his glass and fill up again.

“The boys still need dinner. Jack gets moody when he doesn’t eat around six, then he’s a terror to put to bed.”

“I know how _my_ kids act,” he spits out.

I want to say something about how just a few minutes ago Peeta was saying that they were our kids but now they’re just his. Things change fast for him, obviously.

“I’m just reminding you,” I try and cool my temper. I’d hate to leave on an even worse note. “Bran’s mad. He probably won’t come out of his room tonight.”

“I don’t know why he’s mad; he should be used to women walking out on him.”

“Don’t!” I whip around and point a finger in Peeta’s face. “Do not blame this on me. I am not the one texting my ex and telling him that if I wasn’t engaged that I’d be with him and that I do still love him.”

“She’s the mother of my children, Katniss. There will always be some love towards her. I’m not going to act on it.”

“Maybe you should.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I’d be happy if you unpacked that bag and we worked it out.”

I shake my head. “This is something we both need.”

I’m about to leave but before I do I slide off the engagement ring on my left ring finger and set it on the counter next to where Peeta stands. It’s the lowest of blows but I can’t be wearing a constant reminder of what may never happen. I kiss Peeta’s cheek and make my way to the door. I half expect Peeta to try and stop me but he doesn’t and I’m not sure how I feel about that.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again not edited, I'll try and edit it later, but I don't think that the mistakes are too bad. I originally wanted to make Peeta's POV more common throughout this story but I that didn't happen. So part of the story is his POV while the other goes back to Katniss'.  
> Come talk to me on tumblr, itsmorrgan, two r's not one like on here.  
> If you haven't read my new story go check it out.

**Peeta’s POV**

I drop Bran off to school, who still hasn’t spoken to me in two days. He blames me for Katniss leaving. He should as it was my fault. If only he knew that I blame myself just as much. I drop Sage and Jack off at daycare next. They can tell something’s wrong, but aren’t quite sure yet. Jack is constantly shouting for Katniss to stop hiding, and Sage is constantly asking when she’ll return home. I don’t go to work; Mags is filling in for me today. Instead I’m going to a place that I’m in dire need of visiting. 

Doctor Aurelius’ office is inviting but sterile. There is a friendly receptionist that remembers me by name when I walk in the front door, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. It’s not busy since it’s a Thursday morning and I’m the doctor’s first patient of the day. And I’m not sitting in the waiting room long before the friendly receptionist is telling me that the doctor will ‘see me now.’

“Peeta, it’s been a long time since your last visit and this appointment was booked as urgent.”

I never told the lady on the phone when I was booking this appointment that this session is urgent. It must have been the tone of my voice that made her put it that way. Anyways, I’m thankful for it because it’s the only way I would have gotten in so soon.

“Delly is back.”

I don’t need to elaborate. I went to see Dr. Aurelius for a few months after the divorce and her departure. He knows all about my sketchy past. A mother that tended to lean more towards the violent side than the loving, and a father who loved us all unconditionally but was known to turn a blind eye once his wife got into one of her mean streaks. The constant up and down struggle with Delly; the pregnancies, the wedding, the divorce. Dr. Aurelius knows it all.

“I see. Is she ready to make amends?”

“Yes, but I met someone. Or rather someone came back into my life.”

This perks the doctor’s interest. Our whole doctor-patient relationship has been dealing with one single girl. Now I’m throwing another one into the mix. Another one that dwarfs Delly is all aspects.

“Oh, and what is her name?”

“Katniss. Katniss Everdeen. She lived in 12 when we were kids but moved away after her dad died and her mom got sick. She moved back a few months ago and things have been nothing but a blur of emotions since then.”

“Tell me about these emotions,” Dr. Aurelius readies his notepad ready to jot down anything interesting that I spew out.

I sit back further on the comfortable chair across from the doctor and begin rattling my head onto where to start. I guess at the start. “When we were like five and just starting school. My dad was the one that pointed her out to me, he said something about having a crush on her before he married my mother, but she ended up marrying the coal miner with a voice that makes the birds stop singing just to listen. I didn’t pay any attention to him and it wasn’t until we were in music class that I knew what he was even talking about. Katniss got up in front of the class, in a red plaid dress and two braided pig tails and sang us the Valley Song. The birds stopped chirping outside the window, hell; even the crickets stopped making their music. At five years old, I would have married her.”

Dr. Aurelius is busy taking notes and doesn’t have anything to comment on so I carry on. “Katniss’ dad died then her mom got sick and she and her sister had to move to the capitol to live with her uncle. I didn’t get a chance to know her, and then the whole Delly thing happened, and I forgot that schoolyard crush I had on her. But the moment I saw her in that grocery store, I was a goner. Holy shit, I thought I died. She was so beautiful. I made her dinner then when she found out that I not only had one kid but three, she didn’t freak out.”

“How did the kids take to her?” Dr. Aurelius interrupts me.

“They love Katniss. They all call her mom. Bran refuses to talk to me, Sage is asking when she’s getting back, and Jack thinks that they’re playing a really good game of hide and seek. I fucked up. I let Delly get inside of me. She knows that I want a happy complete family more than anything. I want what my parents couldn’t give me. I would have had that with Katniss but I got weak and I hurt the one person that means so much to me.”

I cradle my head in my hands and let out an agitated groan. “I hurt her,” I choke out in desperation. “I’m not going to get her back. Katniss doesn’t do the second chance thing. She was hesitant about the first chance. Katniss doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve. She stays locked inside herself in case someone, like me, comes into her life and is like a bull in a china shop and destroys the brick wall around her heart that she’s so carefully placed.”

“It seems like she has trust issues.”

“She does. And I broke her trust. I told Delly what she wanted to hear to keep her happy, because that’s the type of person I am. I live to please people and because of that I fucked up my chances with being with a girl that I’m madly in love with.”

“Where is Katniss now?”

“Work,” I answer simply.

Dr. Aurelius smiles and simply shakes his head. “No, I mean where is she staying? I assume you two were living together.”

“Yeah, we bought a house together. We were engaged. We were talking about having more kids, despite her fears.”

“So you’re living in the house and she is where?”

“Bran told me that she was staying with our mutual friend Johanna.”

“Have you tried to contact her?”

“No. I’ve been too afraid. Bran talks to her everyday though. I can hear him talking to her right before bed. Bran and I were always close since I had to rely so much on him. But what Bran and I have is nothing compared to the relationship he shares with Katniss. I’m jealous of the two of them. Sometimes they can just look at each other and know that the other is thinking. I swear if the kid didn’t look just like me, I’d think that he was solely Katniss’ child.”

“Katniss’ child. Not Delly’s?”

“Delly stopped being mom the day she left us. Jack was still a baby. He doesn’t know who Delly is.”

“Do you plan on allowing Delly visitation rights?”

“Probably, it’s what she wants. Maybe start with like a couple hours on Sunday with other people there.”

“I would recommend talking with a lawyer about custody terms and then get them set in stone as just a precaution.”

“Okay. What should I do about Katniss?”

“I cannot tell you what to do. I am here simply to try and help you sort out your problems.”

“Care to make a suggestion?”

Dr. Aurelius sighs and takes off the black rimmed glasses that he’s been wearing. “Make a list. Make a list of everything you want to say to Katniss before you talk to her. Sort out your priorities and show her that your family together is number one.”

“Okay,” I say nodding.

“I’m going to schedule you for another appointment for next month to see how things are going.”

“Okay,” I say again. “Thank you.”

I skip work altogether. Instead I drive back to the house, sit at the kitchen counter and begin to make a list like Dr. Aurelius suggested. Thirty-five or so minutes later my hand begins to cramp up and I’ve filled three pages of paper, front and back. I was going to show Katniss one way or another that I am in love with her, and only her.

 

“I’m going to kill him Katniss,” Gale seethes, loosing and tightening his grip on the can of beer in his hand.

“No, you’re not.”

It’s the same conversation that I had with Johanna two days ago. We’re all sitting around Johanna’s coffee table, slowly throwing back the twenty-four pack of beer that occupies Johanna’s fridge.

“I told you that this was going to end badly. But did you listen? No. Instead you got yourself shacked up with him playing house with his children, a ring on your finger and—oh god, you’re not pregnant are you?” Gale’s eyes go wide.

I hold up my beer as proof that I am not pregnant then chug it down quickly.

“Why can’t I kill him?”

“Because I said so.”

“So does Peeta actually believe that you two are actually on a break or is he smart enough to know that it’s over?”

I shrug my shoulders because I don’t want to answer Johanna’s question. If it were Johanna or maybe even Gale in my place, there would be no second chance for Peeta. Hell, if it happened to me a few months ago Peeta wouldn’t have given him a second chance. But there’s a feeling in my stomach that thinks maybe I should. Definitely not go back to the way things were.  We’d go slowly, how it should have been. Go on more dates away from the kids, and find out more about each other, not talk about the idea of getting married and having even more kids until at least a year or maybe even two.

“Jesus Catnip,” Gale sighs while he crushes his beer can against his fist and the coffee table. “You really loved him didn’t you?”

I shrug my shoulders again. I really don’t want to answer Gale’s question either. Of course I love Peeta. I agreed to give everything up that was familiar to me for something that I’ve been afraid of for the majority of my life.

But Peeta makes me vulnerable and I cannot afford that. My father made my mother too vulnerable and when he died, she died with him too, leaving Prim and I to flounder about in the world by ourselves. If Peeta were to die, I’m afraid that I’ll do just the same.  


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter!

We’re above the bakery, sitting on the beat up old couch that Peeta left behind.  Peeta’s nervous, I can tell. The pieces of papers that he’s taken out of his back pockets are now to the point of breaking with how much Peeta keeps folding and unfolding it.

“How are you?” I start to ease some of the awkward tension.

“Not good honestly. You?”

“Not good,” I answer back.

“I miss you and the kids miss you. Bran hates me.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

“No, I just want you to come home.”

“I can’t do that. Not when you’re telling Delly that you love her and if things were different you’d still be with her. I love you, but I love myself as well and I can’t do that.”

Peeta sits back and closes his eyes. I can see him working up the courage to say whatever is on that piece of crumpled up paper that has him so worked up. After two days of not talking, Peeta called me asking to see me today, in hopes of explaining himself. So far he hasn’t explained anything.

“Okay, so I know I fucked up. I shouldn’t have said those things to Delly. Honestly I thought that Delly would just accept that things are now different and leave, but I was wrong. So fucking wrong.”

“You think?” I snort.

“I love Delly. She gave me the three greatest things that have ever happened to me. She was most of my firsts and has a piece of my heart. She can leave and then return fifty years from now and I’ll still have that soft spot for her. If you weren’t here, if you never came back into my life and Delly returned, I probably would have caved and returned to that vicious make up-break up cycle with her because it’s what’s _‘right’_ for the kids. But saying all of that, she is nothing compared to what I feel for you. I have never been surer about my love for you in all of my life.”

“You didn’t need to tell her that. You didn’t need to hide the fact that you were meeting with her from me then propose to me as a cover up when I found out. It makes you look bad, it makes me look like a fool, and it’s affecting the kids.”

“I know. God, I know. Tell me what to do to fix it.”

I shrug. I’m not sure what he can do.

“I want to be with you. Do you still want to be with me?”

I nod my head. Yes, that is one thing I am sure of. I want to be with Peeta. I want to be with his kids, _our_ kids. Just at a much slower rate. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean that we should. I love you Peeta but you’ve burnt me and I don’t forgive easily. You’re only you got me to listen to you today is because of the kids. They don’t deserve to be left again because their father is a moron. We have to take this slow, if I decide to trust you again. Right now I can only be your friend while entertaining the idea of being together again in the future.”

Peeta nods and lets the new information I’ve just given him sink in. “I agree and it was my fault. I pushed you into all of this. I wanted us to buy a house together when you weren’t even ready to live with me yet, and went behind your back to look at our house because I knew that once you saw it, you wouldn’t say no. I pressured you into an engagement. I’m sure if Delly didn’t show up when she did, I would have practically forced you down the aisle. I just don’t want to lose you. I know that is no excuse but it’s true. I’m honestly terrified that you’ll get bored and leave me as well.”

I bracket Peeta’s face with my palms and direct his stare to me instead of what held his attention on the floor. “I wouldn’t leave you or the kids. I couldn’t. I’m not Delly. Delly never loved you the way that I love you.”

“I know, but I can’t help myself to think it.”

We sit closer to each other now. Our thighs and shoulders are touching. It’s nice, the contact. It’s only been two days but I’ve missed it. I remind myself to stay strong. No matter how badly I want to press my lips against Peeta’s just to remind him just how much I love him, I can’t. I do allow myself to lay my head on Peeta’s shoulder. This seems to relax him, by the way his posture loosens and the deep breath he lets out.

“How are the kids?”

“They miss you.”

“I miss them.”

“You can come home and see them. Stay the night.”

“I can’t stay the night. If I do that, I won’t leave and we’ll be right back to where we left off.”

“How about if I’m not there? I have a big wedding cake order I have to finish so I could just stay here for the night.”

“Okay.” I miss _my_ kids. The longer I’m away from them the worse it’ll get. Maybe I can get Bran to come to some sort of speaking terms with Peeta again.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

 

The kids are thrilled to see me. They want to know where I’ve been and how come I wasn’t coming home. Only Bran knows the real answer; that Peeta and I are on the rocks and the likelihood of us getting back together is slim. I have hope though. Peeta and I can get through this. I just have to be more understanding that before me, these kids did have another mother. And Delly has as much right to be in these kids’ lives as I do, despite being absent for nearly two years.

I got conned into letting everyone sleep in my bed. It’s a sleepover after all. I’m in the middle with Sage and Jack on either side of me and Bran on the other side of Jack. We’re all sandwiched together, despite the bed being big. They’ve missed me and I’ve missed them.

“Delly’s back isn’t she?” Bran whispers long after I thought I was the only one still awake.

“Yes.” I won’t lie to him. Bran is far too smart for his own good. He deserves to know.

“That’s why you and dad are fighting. That’s why you moved out, isn’t it?”

He already knows the answer but he’s looking for conformation. “Yes,” I whisper again.

“Is Dad going to get back together with her?”

“Would you like that?” I ask honestly. “Would you like to have your family back together?”

“You’re my family, Katniss.” It’s been such a long time it feels since Bran’s used my first name. It sounds foreign on his tongue. I like mom much better. “You and dad and Sage and Jack, you’re all my family. Not Delly.”

“She misses you.”

“Yeah well she _missed_ a lot.”

“She doesn’t have to miss anything else anymore.”

Bran doesn’t say anything back. He knows what I meant. Delly will be a part of his and his sibling’s lives, whether he likes it or not. They wouldn’t be seeing her often at first but eventually when she proves herself trustworthy, it could come to joint custody. I shudder at the thought of not having the kids all to myself. I’d have to share them with their biological mother.

I’m just about asleep when I hear Bran again. “You’ll always be my mom.”

I smile because he’ll always be my son.

 

I got the weekends with the kids. Monday through Friday Peeta would sleep at the house while I slept above the bakery because renting an apartment wasn’t practical and I could only live with Johanna for so much longer. In the morning Peeta would bring the kids to the bakery with him and I’d take them to school and to daycare then head off to work. I’d have dinners with them a night or two out of the week, but no slumber parties much to the kids’ dismay. During the weekend, I’d live in the house. Sometimes we’d build a fort in one of the kids’ bedroom and all sleep in it until Peeta would come by in the morning with freshly baked muffins or cinnamon rolls.

It went on like that for a month before Delly came back into the mix. Peeta went through an attorney and now Delly gets a few hours every other Sunday with Bran, Sage, and Jack until Peeta decides that she can have more visitation time. Bran hates those Sunday’s but the other two don’t seem to mind as much. They’ve all refused to acknowledge her as mom, which was a silent victory for me.

“Hey,” Peeta sits down next to me on the couch. He’s been here longer than normal this Saturday. Normally Peeta is here for breakfast and sometimes lunch before he heads back to check on the bakery but today he has stayed for dinner and just now got done putting Jack to bed.

“Hey yourself. Did Jack give you a rough time tonight? I think he’s coming down with something.”

“Yeah, I was talking to one of the teachers at the daycare earlier this week and she said that something was going around the entire school.”

“Well it’ll be Delly’s problem tomorrow. Has she asked for more days yet or is she still behaving?”

“She’s behaving. I think she has finally figured out that I don’t love her and I’m with someone else.”

“She’s not constantly reminding you that we aren’t technically together?” For a while Delly would taunt Peeta with the fact I wouldn’t take him back right away because of the huge fuck up he made. She would constantly tell him that he wasn’t good enough or must be defective because he can’t seem to keep a girl. Delly told all of our friends that it was his small package that pushed most girls away, but I quickly set her straight. Normally I’m above the petty schoolyard drama but I made an exception for her.

Peeta chuckles. “No, I’m pretty sure she’s actually afraid of you.”

“Good.”

Peeta puts his arm on the back of couch and I lean my head on it. It’s been almost two months without any physical contact besides the occasional hug or brief graze of body parts as we walk past each other. I’ve been dying to kiss him. Just once, I want to feel Peeta’s lips on mine again. But I set this pace of not doing anything again that could catapult us into another hasty engagement and I have to stick with it. At least for a little while longer.

“Okay so I know that all we are right now is friends but Delly has the kids tomorrow and I’d like to take you out on a date. You can say no, it’s okay, I don’t want to push you but it’s supposed to be beautiful out tomorrow and I thought maybe a Sunday picnic would be nice. It doesn’t even have to be called a date, in fact I’d rather call it an outing between friends. What do you think?”

I don’t have to think it over for long. “An outing between friends would be nice.”

My grin matches Peeta’s. We are going to do this right this time.

 

 We’re not going to the park where Sunday picnics are normally held. Instead Peeta takes me to a secluded hiking trail that I remember telling him about in the early stages of our relationship. It’s the trail that I’d walk on with my dad in the woods where I learned how to hunt and how to survive.

“I hope this is okay,” Peeta says nervously.

“It’s wonderful.”

Everything is how I remembered. All the trees look the same, the sway of the branches and buzzing of the bugs all sound the same, the earthy scent of the dirt and bark smells the same. It’s almost like I’ve stepped back in time and any moment my father will step out of the overgrown brush and engulf me in one of his famous bear hugs. He doesn’t though. It’s only Peeta and I here and my father is no longer alive. I have to remind myself that.

I’m not sad though. The thought of him used to cripple me. His death and everything surrounding him was my kryptonite, but Peeta slips his hand into mine and I’m happy.

We don’t go far; Peeta isn’t as skilled in hiking as I am. But we do come across the lake that I learned how to swim in. Peeta says something about how the kids have never really been swimming and I vow to take them all one day in the summer.

Peeta’s outdone himself with the picnic of course. He’s packed lamb stew with dried plums in a thermos as well as rice and delicious cheese buns. It’s not a coincidence that he’s brought all of my favorite things; it was a conscious effort of Peeta’s behalf.

We don’t talk for a really long time after the picnic things are all put away and we’ve taken a seat on a rain-weathered rock to allow our food to digest. It’s nice. I’m not a fan with talking and with Peeta it’s not awkward, it never has been. We’re content with listening to each other’s breathing patterns.

“I’m happy,” Peeta murmurs.

I smile. “I’m happy too.”

“After I thought I lost you, I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again. I said things I didn’t mean, did things that I shouldn’t have done, betrayed your trust, hurt our kids. I did it all but you’re still here, I have no clue why.”

“Because I love you, you know that.”

“Yeah but I could live a thousand life times and not deserve you.”

I smile because sometimes that’s how I feel about him.


End file.
